Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Sick of the Winter

Seriously, I am DONE with snow. It bleaches the Earth and coats everything with a thick, unpleasant slurry. It really is a shame that it's not done with us. I know that it is only February and, from a meteorological perspective, spring is still another month and a half off. The possibility for snow is not only reasonable, but also highly probable at this time of year. That's besides the point. Anybody else with me on this?

And while I'm at it, I am also finished with the cold. For the record, my definition of 'cold' is morphing. It used to be anything under 20º. Then I brought the threshold up to the freezing point of water. Now, the freezing point of the Banter is hanging out in the mid-40ºs. This, of course, depends on the atmospheric pressure and my sodium content, which is ample these days. At this rate, I'll be your prototypical old guy retiring to Florida, complaining that anything below 70 is cold. If I were to make a graph and extrapolate, I may reach that point in 2.5 years. Awesome.

It doesn't look like the pain is going to end anytime soon. A quick glance at the near future weather yields this:

Boo! Unless, of course, this hits us hard and they close school. Then, I might celebrate. Unless they force us to make up the day when it's nice outside. If that's the case, I'm back to Boo! All of this would be better if the snow and cold just went away.

For those of you who are semi-science geeks, you'll understand why I am so winter-adverse. Most movements on land depend on an imbalance of opposing forces. You provide a mechanical force. The land provides a frictional force. (Okay, these are really just subsets of the same force, but that's fodder for another post.) Gravity (which is a separate force not yet unified with the others) pulls you down. Whether or not you actually move depends on the coefficient of friction, or amount of sticky between you and the land.

Sometimes, the coefficient of friction drops to drastically low levels. When that happens, navigation is incredible difficult. That is unless, of course, you are planning on going downhill. Then, things get rather efficient. Or painful. Or hysterical.

No comments:

Post a Comment