Conditions kept constant:
- Workout Duration- All cycling sessions will be 60 minutes
- Workout Intensity- I'm doing my traditional warm up followed by 7 min at ~230 watts and 3 minutes ~120-150 watts (watts= how much work). This should end the workout at around 200 watts (NP for those of you who care about these types of data)
- Workout Location- In the torture chamber
- Cycling clothes- I actually purchased a couple of new tri shorts for this occasion (pictured here). And no, you have not seen that couch on internet auditions.
- Level of Pansiness- I've tried to change this, unsuccessfully, for years now. I guess I'm stuck with it.
- Temperature- Hey, I live in
the hell holeNY. It's out of my control.
- Type of Crotch Cream- Hence, the purpose of this effort
- Amount of Crotch Soreness- Measured several ways, but only a few will actually be reported.
I smeared on about a teaspoon of white sauce in the nether regions and did the following ride on Tuesday morning.
As you can see, it's everything that was advertised. Now, I know what you're thinking, "Enough with the ride, how's your taint?" As if I needed the encouragement, I felt down yonder. The previously smothered bits were still nicely slick. There was minimal to no soreness.
As far as I'm concerned, this sets the benchmark against which all other krem-ays will be compared. Which conveniently segues into the next test.
On Friday afternoon, which was St. Patrick's Day, I set forth on this ride.
At the end of Round 1, the clear winner was the #1 seed Assos Chamois Krem-Ay.
Stay tuned for Round 2, when the Banter tries out alternate options so you don't have to.