People are constantly getting credit for 'discovering' new things, like countries, diseases and/ or conditions. And, I say 'discovering' because it's highly likely that these things have been around for quite some time. It's like when Columbus 'discovered' America despite there being ample evidence that there were people living here for at least 3 years before he traveled. And it's pretty clear that he wasn't even the first of the Europeans to make the trip, since the Vikings made it this way several times and took all the hot chicks for themselves (source: image search for women from Iceland). And he still gets credit despite the obvious liability that he didn't even set foot on anything currently classified as North America.I have recently 'discovered' a condition that I am confident will solidify my enrollment in the Nobel Prize pool, along with all of the other greats who have simply identified something that's been around for ages but it took a genius to point out it's existence. I've been wondering what's been going on with me lately and I've narrowed it down to one just-now-identified condition called, "Sudden Hatred of Indoor Training." Those who know me are quite eager in verifying what I'm about to tell you, I'm full of S.H.I.T.
There are lots of reasons to train indoors. Some of them are actually practical.
- It's ridiculously cold outside
- You're a pansy
- It's unsafe training conditions due to snow, wind, rain, pansiness, etc.
- It's too dark and you're afraid of monsters
- You don't have any clean clothes that match
- You want to control the training criteria
- You can reduce the effect of environmentally caused injuries
- You're too lazy to put on extra layers
Last year at this time, my training was virtually nothing. I was on the road to recovering from an injury that set my season up for a summer of patheticness. This year, I vowed to approach my training a little more safely. Most of my running has been on the treadmill. I'd only venture outside if it was daytime and the roads were clear of sludge. That was n=7 out of 19 runs during the month of January. All of my riding has been indoors. I'm in decent shape.
I've been able to hold back my S.H.I.T.s for a pretty good period of time. This week, however, the pressure seemed to get explosively high. I went out to the treadmill the other day, felt sick to my stomach, and clenched myself back into the house. The S.H.I.T. was strong enough for me to layer up and head outside despite the chance of running into some darkness monsters. Yesterday, the S.H.I.T. was so powerful that I skipped a bike ride for the first time in 5 weeks. I just couldn't bring myself to sit on that pot of a bike. I sat on my lazy boy, brooded, and hoped to catch a glimpse of the lady who walks up and down my driveway on a consistent basis.Today, I went for a nice run outside this morning with no problems. I still can't seem to get up the nerve to head to the workout room for a ride. I'm procrastinating as much as I can. Since the run, I've done some laundry, put away dishes,
There are rumors out there that some athlete's train indoors all-year round. On purpose. That's gotta be weird, right? It appears as if they are immune to getting the S.H.I.T.s. They are probably going to be my next focus of research for athletic anomalies. It's quite possible that they are deficient of a few necessary genes that code for going outside. Agoraphobics know what I'm talking about. Their specific problem is that they view the interior environment as superior. They seem to have a, "Lack Of Sense in Exterior Righteousness". I'll tell you about these L.O.S.E.R.s later because they only give out Nobel Prizes once a year.
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