Wednesday, September 26, 2012

WW- Ha Ha You Bacon People

For those of you who don't know, I think bacon is the devil. Nope, this is not some sort of religious belief borne of ill-conceived notions about the cleanliness of a pig. This is not related to some kind of childhood repressed memory which involved a horrendous bacon-related accident (although I have had someone literally, not figuratively, shove bacon in my face, but that was well after the anti-bacon sentiments). This isn't even about a vomitous experience mimicking the blue jay response after eating the mildly poisonous monarch butterfly. I have no problems with the rest of the pig (alright, I also hate ham, but that's completely different). I sincerely hate bacon and everything about it.

Therefore, when I came across this story, I couldn't help but smile.

Bacon, pork shortage 'now unavoidable,' industry group says

Ha to all of you bacon lovers. The bacon supplies might soon dry up and you'll be left to wallow in your own fried-fat memories.

Upon further research (yup, I'm a nerd who actually read more into the utopian possibility of a bacon free world), the scare isn't as horrendous as the average consumer would dread. The nutshell, bacon is here to stay (I am not happy about that revelation). It may be going up in price per pound to rival that of the average gallon of gasoline.

Here's what you should be concerned about: the average everyday bacon products will cost significantly more. With the bacon shortage inevitability, you will now have a greater financial burden for the following, which only a true bacon lover can appreciate (I, like the original product, find them grotesque):

Enjoy your health and your waistline while you still can. I, myself, will pass on all of the above.

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