Edison Invents His Way into Triathlon

I'm pretty sure Thomas Edison was a triathlete, despite the obvious liability that he died a good 40 years before the sport was invented. A little known fact: Thomas Edison invented over a 1000 new products, most of which where to aid and analyze his multisport skills.

History has a way of obscuring the details, so allow me to enlighten you... Having been born in Ohio, Thomas has aspirations towards winning the overall prize at the Rev3 Cedar Point, which never did materialize for him. But, many positives came from that race. Most of the history books fail to tell you why Thomas invented the items he did, they only focus on the what and the how many. Truth is: Thomas was a dedicated triathlete. He trained and worked hard on his technique, but he also wanted the entire family to enjoy the experience.

One of his earliest, non-inventor jobs was as a telegrapher. He immediately recognized the telegraph's potential towards using the device to report race splits and times to his peeps back home. In his early years, Thomas was poor and triathlon is an expensive sport. He just couldn't afford all of the gadgets and afford to bring his wife to the races. That was alright with his first wife, Mary. She, much to Thomas' dismay, was only interested in racing to humor Thomas. She supported without participating.

Thomas' first invention was the automatic repeater. For those of you who do not know what this does, it was the first incarnation of Twitter. Tommy was aware of the digital era that was soon to come and was ready and willing to aid in its delivery. Tommy would also want you to follow me on Twitter at  @TriBanter.

Next up- M-Dot Tatoo

Because Mary was reluctant to travel with Tom to various events, he didn't want her to miss out on any of the details. Thomas worked long and hard on a device that he could plop down next to Mike Reilly on race day. His invention, the phonograph, was originally to record the finish line comments.  Common known fact, Thomas first tested his phonograph with the child's nursery rhyme, "Mary Had a Little Lamb." Little know fact, disk 2 contained, "Thomas Edison, you are an Ironman!" The first disk is readily available for all the public. The second was buried with him, at Thomas' request, for it was one of his most prized possessions.

Mary and Tom had 3 children. Thomas was so excited with his family and career. His first born was named Marion, but nicknamed 'Dot'. I don't have to point out the significance behind that name, right? (M-Dot, the symbol of WTC Ironman, just in case you didn't know). His second born was Thomas, yet nicknamed 'Dash'. Tommy, Sr was constantly impressed with Jrs running skills. The last kid was simply called Theodore. Not sure why.

I see the light

One of the problems that Thomas really wanted to tackle was that of the 140.6 events. Even though Tom was a sub-10 hour guy, he was empathetic to the plight of the less-speedy athletes. He would often go out on the course closer to the 17 hour cut-off time. Thomas really wanted to root for his IronBretheren, but he couldn't see them. He was overtly frustrated from his lack of ability to see his colleagues. Plus, he couldn't imagine being placed in the situation of competing in complete darkness. Thomas got to work and invented the light bulb so that his friends could find their way to the finish line.

Mary died and Thomas was distraught. He buried himself into triathlon, which eased his sorrow. In 1886, he met Mina while they were both racing at Cedar Point. It was not a particularly good race for Tom, and he was in a much older age bracket, but he was determined to give it his best effort. Mina was ahead in the final half mile of the run and Tom had a big ego problem. He worked hard and out sprinted her at the end. Luckily for Tom, women had a difference in appreciation for guys back then and Mina was attracted to Tom's effort to "show off just for her" (as she put it). They were married later that year.

Since Mina was only 20 at the time of their marriage, Tom recognized her potential in the sport but had a difficult time convincing Mina to make serious changes in her form. Thomas, ever the gentleman, decided that he would need to show her graphically her aero flaws on the bike and foot striking on the run. Mina did not enjoy this approach (some things were the same back then). Thus, Thomas hit the lab. His goal was to invent a device that would record her. In 1878, Thomas succeeded in inventing the kinetoscope. Still, Mina refused to be taped until he could prove it worked on sporting events. Thomas videoed a boxing match between Leonard and Cushing. Mina was convinced and she got considerably faster after that.

Thomas continued to be an inventor well after he retired from triathlon. Most of his inventions were sport focused, as Tom wanted to give back to the life that had given him so much. He invented a vote-recorder, which was originally used to record race finishers and times. Then there was electromagnets, used by Tom in cadence sensors. The telephone was a Thomas original so he could call and check in after an out-of-town training camp. He even invented the electric locomotive so he could relax on his way a race.


Thomas led a fun-filled full life. If it wasn't for him, many of the items in triathlon that we take for granted would not be commonplace today. Thomas amassed a great fortune through inventing and starting companies. One of his original plans was to monotonize the 140.6 distance, but he made a regretful decision early in the sport's history to sell the distance to the WTC. Undeterred, Thomas helped finance the Rev3 series, to which Thomas owed his second marriage. One of the many companies founded by Thomas was a coaching company, which was rumored to be willed to one of Thomas' grandchildren. The identity of this company and name of the owner were not released for public domain. After some research, I'm pretty sure I figured it out. You decide...

Young Thomas Edison

Endurance Nation's Patrick McCrann

So there you have it.

Savings Account Problems

Out of Fuel
My family watched a lot of TV in my youth, myself included. Visit the parents today and one of the machines is constantly running. One of the major differences in the parents' house now versus a couple of decades ago is quantity of the devices. Back in my youth, people beat the electronics by 5:2. Currently, the number of televisions in my parents' house outnumbers the humans by 3:1. It's just the two of them and at least two picture boxes are on at any given time. You can count on an eerie blue-white glow to bathe you in its electromagnetic radiation in any room of their abode.

One of the mainstays in biology is the "competition for limited resources" concept. It basically says that when there are more organisms vying for the same stuff, someone wins and someone loses. This tenant is considered one of the driving forces of natural selection and has stood the test of time for over 150 years. However, contrary to popular Darwinian belief systems, my parents did not firmly believe in evolution. If they had, with me being the oldest and strongest, we would have had non-stop sitcoms and nature specials.

Sadly, I was subjected to the 'allow your brother/ sister to have a turn' mentality. Mom and Dad really need to read more on survival of the fittest. (They even have a copy of, "On the Origin of Species...," which I think has its spine still unbroken. Plus, I'm pretty sure Charles Darwin was a triathlete.) When it was the siblings' turn to pick a show from amongst the 6 channels offered, I had a decision to make. I had to pick between my brother's penchant for war movies/ my sister's desire for crappy Sesame Street-type shows (she's much younger, if you couldn't tell), OR I could find something non-TV to do. Naturally, I sat there, sulked about crappy TV and helped the boob-tube live up to it's name.

I remember a couple of the fighter plane movies that the bro would watch. They had some neat dog-fights with real men beating down the enemy in the face of oppression and unparalleled odds. There was a recurring theme in the movies that, for some reason, sticks to my brain. The hero-type pilots would remark about how they were "out of fuel". This struck me as odd because, as a kid, I knew that fuel was what kept the plane in the air. Yet here were the good ol' boys still flying their custom crafted war planes with no danger of going down.

As I reflect on this out of fuel concept as an adult, I get it. The term was describing the turning point of their machines' capabilities. You can only go so far on a tank of gas before you have to turn around and go home. Should you go further, you won't have enough fuel to make it back, which would ultimately lead to disaster. This is where I feel I am at in my training. Except of fuel, I'm out of time.

Out of Time
Every good training plan has a few caveats that are worked into the system. First, the plan must have at least one specific goal. The learned people would recognize this as a SMART goal. Whereas I'm not going to get into the details of goal setting process in this post, the goal should be the first step in the plan. No goal means the plan is pretty much useless anyway. Second, the plan should include training that is sufficiently challenging to satisfy the goal. You cannot run a 7:30 minute mile pace in a race if you haven't done it in training, especially when your prior season was set up for 8 mpm. Therefore, you must go out and train at a 7:30 pace. Third, you must give yourself adequate TIME to achieve said goal. Now, an intelligent planner (not necessarily me) works into the system some flex time. That is to say that you cannot be rigid and structured 100% of your season. There will be interferences along the way and that's alright. You might get sick or tired. You might need to take off for family reasons or work reasons. Therefore, when planning, you need to calculate how much time it will take you to achieve your goal(s) in a perfect world and tack on extras to allow for such distractions.

I think of step three as a savings account managed with a different type of currency. If you are ahead of pace in your training, you put time into the account. Should you need to take time off, you tap into your savings. Have a bad training session, you can draw from the account. The more often you tap into your account, the smaller your balance becomes. If the balance gets close to zero, you run out of flexibility. If your account is in the red, you won't (most likely) achieve your goals.

I am officially out of time. I am at the point where, if I continue on my current path without turning around, it will mean disaster in terms of my racing. These past couple of weeks, really since my last race, have been a time savings account nightmare. In January, my account balance was huge. I was able to beat my benchmarks, increase my speed, and was on task. With the track team that I coach, an illness, lack of motivation, chronic crappy weather, my pansy of an attitude kicking in full swing, a road trip tournament, blah blah blah, the balance is down to zero. Do I know this for fact. No. But I can sense it in a way that feels very real. In a nutshell, if I want to achieve my goals for the Ironman on July 25th, like the jet fighter pilot's fuel issue, staying the current course will not be pretty for my war engine.

I'm not making excuses here. I want to achieve my goals and I want to do well. I am not predicting a bad performance. I am simply stating what I know to be the obvious... If I can't bear down and do the training that I need to do, I will not achieve. Period. Hitting my training will in no way guarantee success. Not hitting my training from here on out will guarantee failure. If I am lucky, and I stress lucky, I will be able to build up a small savings balance. And I stress small.

Consequences of My Future
Understandably, if I miss my benchmarks, which include 20 mile runs, several 4+ hour rides, 5k's in the water, etc. I will be grumpy. I will know long ahead of time that I have doomed myself for failure. Do not confuse grumpy with defeated. I know full well what I am capable of and I know that I am not at full capacity. I also know that I enjoy doing what I do. I do not now look, nor have I in the past looked, at my lifestyle or decisions with regret. Quite the opposite. I am happy with myself and comfortable with myself.

Worst case scenario: I miss my Ironman goals in 2011, which are not guaranteed anyway. I know for a fact that I will be signing up for similar goals in 2012. I will actually sign up for 2012 before competing in 2011. That is the nature of IMLP. They allow this year's competitors the first chance at next year's race on the day before the event. I feel it's IMLP's way of saying thank you for your effort and training this year. IMLP sells out almost immediately. Signing up on Saturday automatically gets you in (while guaranteeing the race organizers and the WTC your cash up-front). Everyone else must wait until Monday. Plus, I am a Chicago Cubs baseball fan. Our motto is, and has unfortunately been for more than a century, "There's always next year."

Even if I break 10:30 in IMLP (my current time goal)... Even if I qualify for Kona (my current IM dream)... Even if I take a podium slot away from one of the Pros (my current super dream)... I know I will be doing the Ironman next year and possibly years to come. Since I am enjoying myself and the lifestyle, I can't complain. Alright, I can complain, but that is the nature of the beast. I should say 'I shouldn't complain'. But, if I didn't have training and complaining, I wouldn't have much of a blog. I'd have to replace my current theme with training tips and real ideas. Not sure I'm ready for that commitment yet.

Proof I'm Not A Runner

I have a preference for multisport events. Specifically triathlon. Well, I'll have to do the tri stuff later. The tri season in most of northern America is still at least a month away. And, from the way the season is heading, it'll be a cool swim start. The only option recently has been the duathlon, not my favorite, but still better than just running. At least I get to ride a bike. Plus, I've often announced that I'm not much of a runner. Thus far, this has been more of a hypothesis than a proven fact. I haven't had the numbers to back up my hunch.

Last weekend's races have given me an opportunity to put my hypothesis to the test. I did a duathlon and a half marathon. It gave me a unique way analyze results. And uniquely analyze I did...

Comparison #1- My Time versus the Overall Winner

Duathlon
Me= 1:42.09
Overall Awesome Dude= 1:28.11
Percent Difference= 14%

1/2 Mary
Me= 1:38.43
Overall Awesome Dude= 1:09.46
Percent Difference= 29%

Conclusion 1- I was closer to the overall winner in the Duathlon than the Half Mary. I need only 14 minutes to win the Du. The HM tacks on more than double. Even though the Du was longer in amount of time, the bike aided in my performance and kept the winner closer to me. So far, my hypothesis of being a bad runner versus a multisport guy holds up.

Comparison #2- My Place versus the Total Number of Entrants

Duathlon
Me= 25
Total= 373
Percent Difference= Top 7%

1/2 Mary
Me= 171
Total= 1839
Percent Difference= Top 10%

Conclusion 2- Compared to the total number of entrants, my multisport time was higher on the list based by percentage points. Granted, I was surprised at my percentile. Maybe I'm not as bad a runner as I think I am. Doubtful. I'm aweful. Still more support for my, "I'm a sucky runner" hypothesis.

Comparison #3- My Place versus My Gender

Duathlon
Me= 24th boy
Total Boys= 194
Percent Boys= Top 12% (there were some teams included in the overall results)

1/2 Mary
Me= 144th boy
Total Boys= 813 (Yup, more girls than boys in this event)
Percent Boys= Top 18%

Conclusion 3- Compared to the blokes, my multisport prowess is better than my raw running speed. There were some great runners in this race, my name not on the list. My "Don't make me just run" hypothesis is still un-refuted.


Comparison #4- My Time versus Top Girl
(This is a fair comparison as the girl who won the Du also won the 1/2 Mary. It was her versus me and she won both times.)

Duathlon
Me= 1:42.09
Her= 1:35.26
Percent Difference= 7%

1/2 Mary
Me= 1:38.43
Awesome Chick= 1:23.25
Percent Difference= 16%

Conclusion 4- Even when I focused, I mean really focused, on the woman who won both races, she won. But, my butt spanking was less when you tossed in the bike versus just running.

Results
My hypothesis is rock solid. No matter how you look at the numbers, look at the times, or look at the woman who finished first, I am a better multisport guy than pure runner. Once you add the bike, I get closer to the winner. Imagine what will happen when you add a swim (assuming that I get back in the water, which will inevitably happen). It's possible that, once you add the swim, that I may actually beat the lady who won this weekend. Given a couple of more data points, my hypothesis will become an irrefutable, scientific theory. From there, all I need to do is publish my numbers in a major journal and I'm in the big money (thank goodness as my racing or blogging won't earn me much). If anyone out there has any connections to Science, Nature, or JAMA, please send them the link to my blog. This research is in desperate need of peer review.

The Ego Blanket

Here's the thing: the more I think about it, the more power the Ego Gene garners. For those of you who are new to the blog, here's a review of the Male Ego Gene.

The Male Ego Gene Explained- Excerpt from a Prior Post 1

Midway down the Y-chromosome, they discovered the male-ego gene.  Later studies indicate how the gene works. The gene is automatically turned on in the presence of women. The hotter the female, or the larger number of females, the harder the gene works. The ego gene is also activated in the presence of children and other men whose gene has also been activated. The gene is inactive when you are alone or in the presence of your Mommy. Don't ask. I don't fully understand it either. But, I do know that since I live with a hot chick (AKA the Wife), am a teacher, and my Mommy lives 550 miles away, my ego-gene is running the equivalent of 20 hours per day, 7 days a week. 

The Competition Addendum- Excerpt From a Prior Post 2

See, in addendum to the male-ego gene is a small portion on the end which controls competition. The competition addendum states that people are supposed to be behind you, not in front. Make sure it happens...Yes, I want to beat that 5'4" girl running in pigtails and pink clothes. Yes, if that 11 year old boy beats me it will be a blow to my manhood.

New Research
I remember, back in the years when I both was prone to imbibe and socialize, we could go outside when the temperature was lower than our normal threshold. This phenomenon is commonly referred to as the "Beer Jacket". In reality, ethanol doesn't actually provide any heat. It acts as a vaso-dilator. This is good to know in case you need your vasos opened up. The hops only gave you the illusion of warmth, with your heme hanging out near the surface of your dermis.

Well, according to the Journal of Obscure Research (the leading source for Male Ego Gene knowledge), the Male Ego has realistic heating powers. According to the abstract:

In the presence of Male Ego activating factors, special proteins in the blood bind with adrenaline receptors inducing a hormonal response. In our study, participants were subjected to various response factors (hot chicks, blokes who may be better at sports, kids who look to them as role models, etc). Subjects were then placed in controlled environments with varying temperatures. In an overwhelming majority of instances (+90%) as compared to the control group (who where not subjected to said factors), activated Male Ego Geners were more tolerant to cold temperatures than their non-activated counterparts.

This research was proven by yours truly in a recent field test. As the winter refuses to fully go away, I was subjected to lower than normally tolerated temperatures at the Flower City Duathlon. The morning temperature was a blustery 38º. Normally, at that temperature, I would subject my bike to the basement instead of risking the cold. I'm pretty sure the carbon and the other components don't appreciate the cold. Therefore, the basement is less of a pansy move and more of a preventative move. I've checked the JOOR but there has not been much research on the performance of overpriced bikes in various temperatures. Anecdotal evidence indicates that under 40º is not for biking outside.

Unfortunately, the race organizers didn't take my pansiness into consideration and they let the race go on as planned. Here was my race outfit.

1. Long Sleeved technical shirt (not the free one given with my entry fee)
2. Long Sleeved cotton shirt
3. Riding jersey (with convenient back pockets)
4. Tri-shorts
5. Biking tights
6. Smart wool socks
7. Shoes with toe covers

All of those were worn on the run. Now, normally during the runs near freezing, I would also include head warmers and running gloves. As I lined up near the starting line, I noticed the number of guys in my age group. I looked behind me and saw numerous ladies, too many to count. On the side lines were several kids, I'm guessing offspring of some of these participants. I admit that they could have been strays in the middle of the city on a cool Sunday morning, but I'm skeptical. Regardless of the reason of the youngins, they rounded out the trifecta of Male Ego activation.

Thus, I was not cold. I was actually comfortable bordering on warm. I might have been over-dressed. And this was before we started running. As the race was in its final countdown and transition was a few hundred yards away, I was forced to keep the outer layers. The ear covers and gloves were not needed and relegated to the back jersey pockets.

Once Run 1 was completed, I had planned on full gloves, jacket, and ear things. Because there were guys in transition and kids cheering (the ladies started 2 heats back and had not caught up to me yet), the Ego Gene was still running with the Competition Addendum in full swing. Temperature was of no consequence. I decided that the ear things were still a good idea (allowing logic to have a say in this race). But, I dropped the jacket and full gloves, opting for the regular biking gloves (you know, the ones with no fingers). The Competition Addendum kept me warm throughout the entire bike.

Run 2 was as good as it got. I was feeling good. I even passed a few guys. Once I got chicked, about 2 miles into the run and roughly three-quarters of a mile before the finish, I was completely warm. My warmth may have been created by all that exercise. It might have also been due to the embarrassment of said chicking (again, its genetic, don't blame me). The leading research says that the heat was a consequence of the Ego.

As you can see, the Male Ego gene is quite powerful. It increases heart rate, blood pressure, fat-burning, and now temperature tolerance. It encourages higher levels of competition and forces dudes to act in ways that they would not normally consider. Some women experience symptoms similar to the Male Ego gene, but science has just started to focus on that phenomenon. Still, the impact of the Male Ego gene is amazing. Take me, for instance. The Ego Gene was the sole factor I completed the race instead of hanging out in the car with the heater blaring or heading out to the coffee shop for my favorite chocolate flavored caffeine. Like it or not, I've got it and it's in control.