Something New on Race Day

There's this colleague that I've recently started advising through the world of tri. In most practical terms, he's a more genetically gifted athlete than me. He's a faster swimmer. This is significant since I'm not that bad of a swimmer. He's definitely a better runner. This is insignificant since I'm a horrible runner. He owns a bike. He knows how to ride it, but not really how to train it and doesn't spend much time on it. This is his major downfall in sport and the only factor that will keep him and me competitive (although, at my current fitness levels, he still probably wins).

Recently he decided to toe the line at IM Syracuse 70.3- 2016 version. I, having done that race several times in the past, seemed like the perfect free resource for information. We talked for hours about a plan of attack. He shared dreams and visions of times. I encouraged caution, since it was his first attempt at the distance and he's way undertrained on the bike (re-read first paragraph). Based on 14 different variables and a formula that only I understand, we determined that a 5 hour to 5:10 half-ironman (HIM) was within his skill set... unless something major happened. He went 35 minutes slower than expected, including passing out twice.

As you can guess, something major happened. And that something was the exact same something that kills more athletes' races than all the world's collective mechanical failures combined. It resides right between the average athlete's left and right ears (although, there's a theory floating around out there that some people's neural material might be found elsewhere in their bodies). Some go into a race with no clue as how to go into a race. Others, despite going into a race with a solid plan, they decide to change something. In this particular athlete's situation, he drastically changed his nutrition. In case you didn't know, nutrition is kind of a deal in a HIM.

The NNORD Theory
An oft cited mantra in triathlon is "Nothing new on race day". I understand the sentiment behind the slogan. The major idea is that if you care at all about the race then you will have practiced for the race. Yes, there are plenty of people who are there for fun, don't care about the race, and, therefore, don't practice much. These are the same people who are having the time of their life and also couldn't care about their race time.

That doesn't come close to describing me. See, I have this other person in my noggin that tries to convince me that I might have some talent. Sure, the data suggests something completely different but that other guy me doesn't really like to analyze data. He's more emotive than logical. It's like living with a woman. If I trained as much as he seems to think I'm capable of, then he might have a point.

Regardless of who's right, most reputable, experienced, and wise athletes won't wait until race morning to test out stuff. And then there's me.

I've been doing tri for the better part of 18 years now and try stuff constantly on race day. That's because I do more than one race. Sure, if my entire season boiled doing to a single event, I'd have each and every detail down to a science. No stone would be left unturned. But that's not the way I structure my season. That means NNORD would apply to me as much of the next guy. But it doesn't.

This might seem kinda confusing. How can one practice and race at the same time? Well, since I'm rich and have a lot of disposable money sitting around I like racing, I use some races as practice arenas for the earmarked important races. Throughout the years, I've found it excessively difficult to recreate the anxiety, intensity, bowel movements and attitudity of a race. So, no matter how much I'd like to think I've gotten the details down, nothing prepares you for racing quite like racing. By the time I get to the self-proclaimed big race, I've finished turning stones during the practice races. See how that works?

What's on the Menu?
Tomorrow, I am converging on an olympic distance race referred to as "Tri in the Buff". I know what you're thinking- you do this race naked! (Don't ask me how I, umm, stumbled on this race. I don't want to show you my search history to prove it.) Nah. They're abbreviating Buffalo to make a nice play on words. Obviously, this race is held in a town called Brant, NY.

There are a couple of things I'm experimenting with during tomorrow's race. The first is one of those fandangled, spermy-looking aero helmets. This will mark my 3rd helmet option available to me. The first is a regular helmet. The second is an aero road helmet. Recently I found a pretty good deal on a semen head (again, don't ask for browser history), which is supposed to make me marginally speedier. Money well spent.

The second is I'm trying out a new race suit. I broke my old race suit. I was just too much man for that piece of thin, techno-fabric (probably due to an increase in overall calories resulting in more biomass than the suit was designed for). I'm pretty sure, when all is said and done, that I'll be looking like speedwalking Hal from Malcolm in the Middle.

Lastly, I'll be tying my bike shoes to the frame via rubber bands. I've read about this and seen others make an attempt (never stayed nor asked about the results of that attempt). It seems intriguing. And, since I already own the rubbers, this won't cost me anything.

Upon crunching all of the numbers (this is a regular me behavior), I expect that all of these changes should make me about 12 full seconds faster than if I went race normal. Regular me would be satisfied if that's the case. The other guy me still thinks I should have put more time into training. Ha- training to get faster- what does he know anyway?

What to Expect When You're Syracusing- The Run

My intent is to pass along knowledge based on experience for any and all those who are planning on doing IM Syracuse 70.3 (even if you have no intention of ever doing this race, maybe you'll find it interesting). If, at any point along the way, please feel free to raise your hand and ask questions. (I suppose you could also leave a comment.)

Links to other posts in this series
Pre-Race
The Swim
The Bike 
The Run (viewing)
 
Back in Transition
Let's assume for a minute that you have survived the bike ride through the hostile outback of suburban Syracuse. Congratulations! You're a beast. For some people, a 56 mile bike ride is enough to call it a day. Not you, stud or studette. You have paid money to go for a run. Now, before you get running, you have some chores to do before you can go play.

You have to get off your bike at or before the mount line. But, it's been a couple of hours since you left. Since that time, the RD went out and changed it to a "Dismount" line. You are now allowed to get off your bike. Same holds true for the bike exit, which has magically transformed into a bike entrance. One of these days, I'll not do a race and watch the wand waving to see exactly how the transformation unfolds. I doubt I'll understand.

Here is your list of chores: (It's up to you how quickly you want to accomplish them. Nobody will help you with this.)

• Find your old bike spot. You need to use it again
• Hang your bike on the pole in said spot
• Take off your helmet
• Get naked
• Replace your bike shoes with running shoes
• Add any additional gear to your body as you feel appropriate
• Socks
• Hat
• Sunglasses
• Monkey Suit
• Fuel belt
• Sunscreen
• Nutrition

Tip 1: Leave your bike shoes on your bike if possible. You really don't need them from here on out. Hopefully you have practiced sliding your feet out of the shoes while riding.

The transition is at the opposite end of the recently formed bike entrance. In many races, the "Run Out" is the same place as the "Swim In". At Syracuse 70.3, this is almost the case. Find the Swim In spot and look just to the right. Voila. Go through that opening and turn right again. You are now on your way to an exciting adventure.

The Run
The course starts off in the park. The park is mostly flat with a mix of sun and shade. It's also a mix of pavement and dirt. After a brief period of time, should you follow the prescribed course (and it is in your best interests to do so), you'll have a chance to run past your car.

Tip 2: Resist the urge to get in your car and drive the course. You'll actually be slower. Here's why: After mile 1, the road is mostly closed. Traffic is backed up and creeping along. Also, the timing mats don't register your chip efficiently through the insulated vehicle. It's better that you just run it.

There is an aid station right before you leave the park and turn onto the main road. The aid stations basically have the same products in the same order as the bike stations with a couple of notable additions. They've added pretzels and flat cola (may or may not be name brand). The Athlete's Guide doesn't officially say it, but there is a high probability that you'll find some ice. Do not expect water bottles. They dish all the liquids out into convenient paper cups, about 3-4 ounces in each. Same for the pretzels. Gels, chomps, etc. come complete in their original wrappings.

Again, there will be copious numbers of volunteers lining up, shouting at you and handing you stuff. Sometimes, they try to force it on you. Stay assertive.

Tip 3: Grab a cup from a volunteer or the table and pinch the top. You have now made a nice spout/ funnel, which is easier to drink whilst moving.

Tip 4: Water is typically first followed by the rest of the stuff. There may a second chance at water. When I take in calories, I grab 2 waters. Slam one immediately. Then calories. Then the other water. I hate running with that sticky, sugary goo glopped in the back of my throat.

After the aid station, turn left and onto the main road. You'll recognize this spot by a sudden increase in entropy. The road normally has 2 full lanes for cars and 2 slanted shoulders for everything else. They close down the northbound lane for the race. You recently biked on the outside of the race lane. Now, you are sandwiched in the middle of the bike lane and the returning runners.

The road is not that bad at this time. You are on a relatively flat part in terms of slanting vertically and horizontally. (That will change later.) There is a small, easy up and down while on the main road, on which you will run for about a mile. It's mostly shady and pleasant.

Just before the 2 mile mark, you will turn left into a quaint neighborhood. The road is all runners now. There is a second aid station. There is also a lot more sun. This portion of the course is about 3/4 of a mile long. It is the end of all things happy as you know it.

Here's the run profile. It's shaped like a beautiful pair of c-cups. The bottom of the hill coincides with the end of the road that you are currently running on. At this time, you won't see anything but the tip of the ice berg. The road Ts just as you start to go up. You make a right hand turn and the enormity of the climb slaps you across the face like you just made an unwelcomed pass at the hottie. As you start to ascend, you'll start to feel as if she also kicked you in the groin. She'll keep pounding away on your sensitive areas until just after the 3rd mile mark.

At this time, you'll find relief in a couple of different forms. First and foremost, the hill has ended. Secondly, there is an aid station filled with volunteers that know what torture you've just been through. Third, you get to turn around and head downhill now.

From here on out, you have to go back. You get to retrace your steps down the hill, back into the sun, hit the main road, and head back to the park. On the main road, however, you are faced with yet another challenge. What you thought was a nice, flat road on the way out has now officially become a pain in the leg on the way in. If you are running on the shoulder, expect that the slope will cause a limping sort of gait as your right/ outside leg will be hitting the pavement at a slightly lower elevation than your left/ inside leg.

You'll turn right back into the park and hit the first/ last of the aid station of the course. You diverge from the beaten path as you take the long way around the parking lot, pass your car once again (see Tip #2), and head back towards transition. This portion of the run is littered with sharp, finger to fist-sized limestone cobbles. Pay attention here and run carefully.

Tip 5: Don't run in the middle of the path. Stick to the outside edge. If you're smart, you'll be on the left hand side as it's the inside of the turn. Not only will this be a shorter distance, but the ground is smoother here (or was).

Please pause in your reading. If this is your first lap, please go back up to the heading "The Run" and re-read everything that I have written. I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you have to turn around and re-do the run. Even though it feels like an eternity, you've only covered half the distance to the goal. Once you have finished your second round of reading, then you may continue with the rest of the post.

After you've finished re-reading and re-running the entire shpeel, you get to finish (both the post and the run). This time, you are allowed to run past transition. It seems like you are going to head back to the lake for a swim (which, by the way, will sound pretty dang good). There will be party music. There will be people yelling and cheering. There will be someone announcing your triumphant return. There will be a chute that only the most weak minded persons (this may number in the hundreds on race day) would be able to miss. There will be a nice finisher's arch.

Cross the line and get your medal. You've done the deed now receive the bling. You'll have your shot at sitting on the ground under a tent in the shade. There will be amply supplies of beverages. A few steps away, you'll see and smell the post race food. You may even be able to convince a volunteer to bring you stuff.

Do's and Don'ts After the Race

• Do remember to thank as many people as possible (you have hopefully been doing this the whole time)
• Do shake hands and brag chat with your fellow athletes
• Don't pat them on the back. They'll probably fall over
• Don't forget your morning clothes bag
• Do grab an extra water bottle for the way out
• Don't forget that you have an expensive bike in transition. Plus some other stuff
• Do remember where you parked your car
• Don't sit directly on your seat. You smell. Put down a towel or something
• Do send me a message and tell me how things went

By now, hopefully, you have a pretty good idea as to what to expect when your Syracusing. Feel free to chime in and tell me what I'm missing. I look forward to your success and good luck to you.

(Just don't beat me. I get grumpy about that sort of thing.)

What to Expect When You're Syracusing- The Bike

My intent is to pass along knowledge based on experience for any and all those who are planning on doing IM Syracuse 70.3 (even if you have no intention of ever doing this race, maybe you'll find it interesting). If, at any point along the way, please feel free to raise your hand and ask questions. (I suppose you could also leave a comment.)

Links to other posts in this series
Pre-Race
The Swim
The Bike (viewing)
The Run

A Short Blurb About Transition

If any of you have seen coverage of any of the Ironman races on TV or read about them on the internets, you might have this vision of a changing tent or large numbers of volunteers waiting on you hand and feet. And you'd be right on all accounts. However, this is not an Ironman despite the IM title. Syracuse is a half-Ironman, HIM, half- distance, or whatever else you want to call it. Therefore, you get nothing. Transition is a large, open field fenced off with temporary orange fences. There is no changing tent like the one in the pic. No volunteers will assist you. You are on your own.

You have to find your bike, put on your helmet, buckle your chin strap, put a race number on your body (body marking is not sufficient at this stage), and whatever else you might need. You have to run (or walk) your bike through the field towards the mount line. Once you pass that line, you are free to start your bike ride.

Tip 1: If you've practiced this before, clip your shoes on to the pedals and run through the grass barefoot. This style of running is more efficient and keeps mud/ dirt out of your bike cleats.

Tip 2: If you have not practiced tip one, run with your bike shoes in your hands to just past the mount line. Move all the way over to the side so as to not interfere with anyone, drop your shoes, and slide in your feet. Then mount and ride. Trust me, this will save time and grime.

The Early Stages of the Ride
Assuming that you have mounted the bike successfully and have started pedaling, the initial stages of the ride are quite nice. Head onto the road (there's only 1) and turn right. You'll be met with a nicely paved surface and a slight downhill. Don't get too comfy.  Be warned, there are 2 forms of evil lurking in your near future. These take the shape of railroad tracks. The first set is just before the 1st mile mark and the second is right around mile 2.

Do not underestimate the danger here. There is a 99.99999% chance that there will be no train traffic. In year's past, they even took the time to cover the tracks with astroturf-type carpeting or the like. I would still advise slowing down and not being in any aero position over the tracks. People have bit it badly on these tracks due to their lack of diligence. The tracks are, in all reality, quite simple to navigate. Just don't ruin your ride before it gets started.

As far as man-made obstacles on the course, that's the whole gamut. However, once you pass the second railroad crossing, a new challenge presents itself. You start to go up. Then you make a right hand turn and continue to go up. And after you've gone up, you go up some more. This pattern continues up until about mile 7. Then, you get some teaser false flats which continue until mile 8.5. Then, guess what happens? That's right, you go up. You have to survive the climb until right around mile 11.5. That's the end of the climb.

Tip 3: The magic word of the climb is spin. Try to get into a nice rhythm and don't grind too much. You will burn some of your energy matches just don't try and flame them all. You'll need some for the run. I understand that there will be lots of people passing you on the hill. Let them go and beat them later.

Tip 4: Just after the climb, there will be an aid station. Some people opt to bring minimal hydration so that they can save weight during the climb. They then pick up fluid and nutrition at the first aid staion. That's totally acceptable and up to you.

Aid Stations
There are 3 aid stations on the bike ride: mile 14, 23, and 41. Volunteers at these stations are more than happy to give you everything they have. Without a doubt, they will have water. They will also have sports drink, gels, chomps and bars (depends on this year's race sponsor, check the Athlete's Guide for specific product and flavors). They'll also have some fruit.

You'll know the aid stations when you see them. There will be a large line of people yelling and screaming. I'm serious that the volunteers literally want to give you stuff. They'll be jumping and dancing just to get your attention and in hopes that you'll get your hands on their goodies.

Before you get to the station, you'll want to do a little bit of prep. First and foremost, if you plan on taking advantage of their services, slow down. Don't hit the area at full speed. (If you're not in need, pay careful attention to those around you. It's a busy place. Move over to the left some. But not fully left as you need to leave room for others passing. Unless you are the fastest guy/ gal in the nearest 800 meters. Then, have at it.) If you have any trash, dump it before getting to the station. There will be a sign labeled "bottle drop" and a trash can. You do not actually have to get your trash in the receptacles. You may simply toss it to the side in the general vicinity and feel good about it. Just don't hit anybody (volunteer or athlete) with your crap or leave it in a place where someone behind you could hit it with their bike.

As far as product, first up will be water, then sports drink (both fluids will fit nicely into your bike's bottle cage), then a bunch of other stuff, and finally water. Know what you want ahead of time. Here's what you should do. Suppose you want a product and a nice volunteer is shouting out at the top of their lungs that they have the desired stuff. Shout back the same product and point at someone. Make eye contact. Get their name and phone number. Some volunteers will try and run along side to help you out. Amazing when it happens. Don't count on it. Most will extend their hand and loosen their grip. You reach out your hand and grab on tight (to the product, not the volunteer). Sometimes you miss. Immediately start the process over again. You may want to slow down a little more to increase your chances of success.

Aid stations end with yet another bottle drop and trash area. You should hold on to anything that doesn't make it off of your possession from here on out to the next aid station or back to transition. If you need to use the bathroom and don't know how to pee on the bike, there will also be porta potties available at aid stations. The potties will not run along with you, you must dismount your bike before going in. 

The Rest of the Bike Course
The rest of the course is a nice country ride. Don't expect to see large numbers of people out on this single loop course. There will be the occasional hotbed of spectators that will be yelling and cheering. Most of the time, it will be you and a couple of hundred of your new closest friends on the race.

Most of miles 12-56 are rolling with a net downhill. The entire profile is below.

I am obligated to point out the nice little dip in the profile right around mile 20. This is a hot little bugger. For roughly a half of a mile, you'll have the opportunity to test your mettle at break neck speeds. I got up to 50 mph of that section, which meant that it was over in less than a minute. This section of road is smooth and straight so it's a good time to go fast. Further, the other side of the dip is the photo negative of the hill you went down. It's a short, sharp, uphill climb that will test both your gearing and your quads.

The rest of the way, you should expect a rolling terrain through picturesque upstate NY. The last ten miles or so are down and fast. This should give you and your legs ample time to absorb any water or nutrition as you get ready for the run.

There may or may not be a no passing zone on the last stretch of road. You'll know it as 'the last stretch as you'll see a lane of traffic completely closed off just for you and your athlete buddies. There will also be cones separating you from your soon-to-be running buddies. You should know this information ahead of time, either from the optional Mandatory Athlete meeting or from asking someone in transition. Either way, this is a good time to do some last minute hydration, nutrition, stretching, kegel exercises, etc. There is a half marathon in your very near future, which I'll tell you about in the very near future (convenient, huh?).

What to Expect When You're Syracusing- The Swim

My intent is to pass along knowledge based on experience for any and all those who are planning on doing IM Syracuse 70.3 (even if you have no intention of ever doing this race, maybe you'll find it interesting). If, at any point along the way, please feel free to raise your hand and ask questions. (I suppose you could also leave a comment.)

Links to other posts in this series
Pre-Race
The Swim (viewing)
The Bike
The Run

Pre-Swim
If you've done everything efficiently, you have made it to the race site before transition closes. According to published information, transition actually opens around 4:30 am (I, typically haven't even awoken by this time). It closes near 6:45 am (if you're lucky, you can bribe a volunteer to let you stay in a little longer- I know this from experience).

While in transition, make sure your gear is taken care off. Get your fluids and nutrition on your bike. They will have some of those large, orange coolers filled with water and with a sports drink (supplies by whoever is this year's sponsor). There will be lots of pumps in transition, either from fellow athletes or from the race support sponsor.

Borrowing a pump is as simple as asking, "Can I use your pump?" which is 100% of the time responded in the affirmative. The race mechanics, just like Hans and Franz, might pump you up without any work of your own. If you are too shy to ask the question, of course you can bring your own.

The race "starts" at 7:00 am. Don't worry, you won't actually be starting at that time. That is, of course, unless you are a male professional triathlete (then one would have to wonder why you are reading anything posted here...). Syracuse 70.3 is a wave start. In 2013, there will be 13 total waves, separated by about 5 minutes. The older and more feminine people will start earlier than the younger, virile males. I, for example, will be hitting the drink at 7:50. As if the pros need a 50 minute head start against the likes of me.

One aspect that I think is well done at Syracuse is that they have a morning bag check. This means that you don't have to stand around in your wetsuit, shivering in the cold (should the morning temps be cold enough to cause shivering). You can wear shoes to walk around. You can have your favorite hoodie. You can jam the tunes on your music player.

As your time nears, you can dump all of this in your official Morning Clothes bag, which was given to you when you checked-in yesterday, and hand it to the nice volunteers manning the tent. "You don't need to worry about your morning stuff during the race. We'll take care of it for you."

There is a warm up area, should you be the kind of person that likes to waste his/ her energy splashing around in the water before your race. There is a 97% chance that the swim will be wetsuit legal during any given year. In fact, the swim hasn't even been close to the temperature cut-off. In case you didn't know, the WTC is a little odd in their wetsuit temperature policy. The rules say that wetsuits are fully legal up to 76.1º. They are fully illegal above 83.8º. There is a gray area between those numbers. If the water happens to be in the midst, you may decide to wear a wetsuit but will forfeit your eligibility to win anything. No age group awards. No slots for the World Championships. You only get a finisher's medal, hat, t-shirt, and post-race dinner (all of which is probably what you would have gotten anyway).

The Swim

Congratulations, you have been patient enough to make it to your wave start. Everybody in your wave will have similar colored caps, which were given to you yesterday. Sadly, there is no official start line. You enter the water until it's about waist deep. Someone in the group will stop. Current scientific research has failed to identify the exact reason why that person stops where they do or while the rest of us idiots accept that decision. We all form a line in the vicinity of the stopper but are careful not to venture out further then that person.

Eventually, someone will yell go. If you're lucky, there may be something more official, such as an air horn. If you miss it, that's okay. You'll recognize the commencement of your race because everyone else has gone horizontal and started flapping their arms.

The swim is a clockwise swim with the buoys on your right (perfect for right-side breathers like myself). Since the swim is in a reservoir and protected on 3 sides, there will be minimal chop. The first leg is roughly 800 yards. You'll know when you've reached the turn buoy as it will be a different color. Turn right.

In my experience, the first turn is greater than 90º. It's closer to 110º. Should you only turn at a right angle, you'll start to add yardage onto your swim (again, it's been my experience). This leg of the race is about 200 yards and you are swimming directly into the sun, which is not as reliable a marker for spotting as you would expect.

Again, the turn buoy will be seen as a different color than the ones you've just been seeing. You turn right and head for the beach. Pay attention here. The buoys on the 3rd leg of the swim do not lead you directly towards the swim exit (at least they haven't in the past). The buoys make a 90º turn but the exit is directly at about 70º. If you choose to swim near the buoys, you will go out of your way by about 25 yards. Spot the swim exit arch. It'll be big and white. From a 1000 yards away, you would be able to read the words "Swim Exit" but it will be the only white archy-shaped thing against a green background. Swimming straight for the swim exit arch has a second benefit as the masses will be following the buoys where as you, and really I mean me, will be in clean water. Sure, there may be people to draft off of but there will also be slower swimmers from earlier waves to slalom through.

The Strippers
Exit the water onto a sandy beach. After a short 50 yard jog, you'll come across a slew of strippers. No, not the sexy, Gentleman's Club kind, but the kind that will remove your wetsuit for you. What's the difference? You are not expected to hand out dollars for services rendered. These people will give you attention for free.

Should you wish to take advantage of their talent, run up to a couple of volunteers. Make sure you have peeled your suit to the waist. You must do this part yourself (sorry). It's best to communicate your intention to the strippers. I tend to spot a likely victim who is available and point at them. They will acknowledge your presence. Run up to the couple and sit down in front of them. They will grab to top of your suit and yank it quickly. Just like a magician ripping a table cloth out from under the dishes, your suit will magically disappear from your body. Sometimes, they will help you off of your butt and onto your feet. They will always hand you your suit and send you on your way.

Transition is still quite a distance away. I haven't actually put the Garmin on the task, but I believe that the transition area is about 300-400 yards away. Remember that the clock doesn't stop because you are between the water and the bike. Also remember that it's a long day and you are only 10% or so of the way finished with the race. Plan your energy expenditures wisely.

Now that you've successfully made it to your bike, I'll tell you how to tackle the bike course. Stay tuned.

What to Expect When You're Syracusing: Pre-Race

My intent is to pass along knowledge based on experience for any and all those who are planning on doing IM Syracuse 70.3 (even if you have no intention of ever doing this race, maybe you'll find it interesting). If, at any point along the way, please feel free to raise your hand and ask questions. (I suppose you could also leave a comment.)

Links to other posts in this series
Pre-Race (viewing)
The Swim
The Bike
The Run

Signing up
First and foremost, you must sign-up for the race in advance. There is no race day registration. Sign-up is done typically on-line via a link through their website, which will then take you to Active.com, which will then force you to fill out about four hundred pages of questions, and charge you accordingly. Active will also tack on an additional fee just because they can. Sadly, there's no way around it. The race is expensive, as are all WTC events.

(Keep in mind that I have never had a bad experience at a WTC event that could be blamed on the race instead of my lack of training or my pansiness. Yes I believe that their races are pricey. I also believe that they put on a high quality show.)

Please note that you are expected to be a member of USAT (the official governing body of everything triathlon). Not only do you need to be a current member, but your membership expiration date must be later than the date of the race. If you are a current member but your card expires before the race, you may be forced to renew your membership for an additional year (USAT only has full year memberships or longer) or pay for a day pass.

To the best of my knowledge, the race has never sold out. Still, expect that there will be 1000 plus people on the course at any given time.

Picking Up Your Race Number
The race is typically on a Sunday. You cannot show up on Sunday morning and expect to race. You must do "things" on Friday or Saturday before the race. Bring a government issued ID and your USAT card.

Tip: Some people take a picture of their USAT card, store it on their phone, and use that instead of the physical card itself. Saves space in your wallet and is 100% acceptable.

List of required things

• Go to the Host Hotel* (this location changes annually) and check in
• Sign Waivers 
• Pick up your race packet, which should include but not limited to:
• Your bib number(s)
• Your race stickers (there's about 8 thousand of these) 
• Several coupons or advertisements for products that you have no interest in
• Pick up your timing chip
• Get an official wrist band that must stay on until the end of the race
• Get any swag

If they stay consistent in relation to years past, this will be done efficiently and by many happy volunteers. (Be sure to smile, joke and have fun with these people. They are there out of the goodness of their hearts with the sole intention of pleasing you. If anything goes wrong, don't be a jerk. Your problem will be solved.) They set it up factory-line style. You go to the first table and take care of that business. Then the second. Then the third. Repeat ad infinitum or until they run out of tables.

You'll recognize when you have finished the process because you'll magically end up in the Official Merchandise Store where you can spend more of your money on stuff that has the "M-dot" logo should the desire hit you.

*Note- The Host Hotel might actually be a tent on the race site. 

List of non-required things
(also available, depending on your timing-schedule of these things is usually posted in the Athlete's Guide, which will be emailed to you or posted on the website)

• Mandatory Athlete Meeting**
• Chat with Pros (depending on availability)
• Browse various booths or vendors that have set up shop

**Yes, I know the title says 'Mandatory'. They don't take attendance nor do they penalize you in any fashion for not going. They answer any questions you might have. They go over some of the commonly broken triathlon rules and the consequences/ procedures should you break those rules. They tell you what to expect on the course, if there has been any changes, or if there are any special rules. For example, in 2012, there was a no-passing zone during the last mile of the bike. The only way to know this was attend one of the meetings. Will that be the case this year? I have no idea. I might have to go to the meeting. Or, talk to someone who went to the meeting and was friendly enough to share. The risk is that if you don't go to the meeting and miss out on something, it's fully your fault and you may be penalized for your ignorance.

Bike Check-In
Sorry, but you cannot get around visiting the race site before race day. You have to physically drive to the race site from the Host Hotel (assuming they are separate places). The race site is a few miles southeast of Syracuse proper at:

Jamesville Beach County Park
4110 W. Shore Manor
Jamesville, NY 13078

Why do you have go to the race site? Because you must leave your bike in transition overnight. It must be in it's place before the posted deadline (most years, the deadline is 7:00 pm but be sure to check the Athlete's Guide or ask the question at the optional Mandatory Meeting).

The course is open to any athletes and all motorists who wish to be on the course. You may opt to ride some of the bike course or the run course. You may go for a run in the park. You may not swim in the reservoir (for some reason).

The transition area is controlled by security and will remain so for the duration of the event, including all night long. Remember that annoying wrist band thing from the Required list? That's your entry ticket into and out of transition area. It has your info, including name, your race number, bust size, astronomical sign, and an analysis of red flagged genes based on your DNA analysis.

You have to label your bike before leaving it in transition. In your race packet, there are a bunch of stickers. At least 2 of these must go on your bike. One of the stickers goes on your helmet. The other stickers are available just in case you have a nice sticker collection to which you'd like to add.

Tip: Some of the bike stickers are rather large. I bring scissors and cut those puppies so that they fit nicely on my seat tube and down tube. Otherwise, you'll have to figure out where to put them on your bike without interfering with your comfort or aero-ness. I also cut the helmet sticker down to a smaller size.

The racks are assigned seating based on your race number. They are the 'long pole' types that are meant to hang your bike by the seat or handlebars. Typically, even numbered bibs are on one side of the rack while odd numbers are on the other.

You are not required to leave anything else in transition other than your bike. You will have full access to your bike on race morning (assuming that you get to the race before transition closes, which is not a good assumption for the Banter).

I would suggest checking the weather forecast before making any major decisions about what to leave in transition. If the weather is predicted to be mostly clear with low levels of wind, I would personally leave most of my gear (shoes, helmet, glasses, wetsuit, goggles, bodyglide, etc.). In fact, I'd try to leave as much as possible minus nutrition. I keep food separate as I believe that even the most skilled security guard isn't going to stop a mouse, bug, or other varmint from eating my fig newtons or drinking my punch. Basically, if it's essential gear for the race, I leave it near my highly secured bicycle.

Now, before you start to argue, I have good reasoning for this. Before the race, you get to park your car close to transition. On race morning, your car is likely nowhere near transition. Last year, in 2012, I had to walk a good 1/2 mile to get from my car to my bike. The more I leave on Saturday, the less I have to carry on Sunday.

I've seen some people try and wrap a bag around their seat or cover their bike in copious amounts of plastic for it's overnight slumber party. I personally don't see the point as condensation will still form under the plastic. Further, you are going to be soaking wet from the swim the next time you ride. I can't imagine that your bum will notice if the seat has a couple of dew drops on it race morning.

From here on out, you should be ready for race day. Go home, get some food, get some sleep, and come back to the park in the morning. In the very near future, I'll walk you through race day.

Race Preview- Back to the River Ramble

Triathlon season is now upon us. This means that I get to stop doing all of those stupid, boring running events and focus on multisport. Or, so I thought...

See, when you coach the school's track team, there are certain unwritten rules. One of those rules is about to smack me in the face.

I have to race a 5k this weekend.

No, not a 5k at the concluding end of a 800 meter swim and a 13 mile bike ride. (This is known as a Sprint Distance Triathlon, just in case you didn't know.) I mean that I have to run a real 5k.

My school, AKA my workplace, AKA the cesspool provider of my income is hosting one of those 5k races/ fundraisers they call the River Ramble. When I was younger, I did one of these a weekend. Now, not so much. I focus my energies towards a niche sport with minimal participation. The problem is that my school absolutely refuses to host a charity triathlon (okay, I don't know that for a fact but it's a pretty darn good guess that I am right).

In the past when I have done this race, I had a knee injury. Plus, I have used the Wife as a scapegoat for allowing all of the kids to beat me. I ran with her, step by step, side by side for the entire course. It was incredibly fun for me as I love running with the Wife. Adding to the joy, we'd get our picture taken together for free. That's much better than going to a studio in dress-ups and fake smiles.  Here we are at last year's race.

The Wife will not be running tomorrow. She is taking the race off for a couple of reasons. First, she is still nursing a nagging, stubborn, and incredibly uncomfortable knee injury of her own. Second, she is bringing the dogs on campus for some fun and activities.

Without the Wife, that brings me back to my original statement: I have to race a 5k this weekend. The runners on the track team, most of which have significantly higher levels of talent than me, want nothing more than to beat me to the line. Listen up kids- I'm not going down without a fight!

The course is new this year and actually pretty nice. And, it is USATF Certified.

One thing that peaks my interest about the USATF people is that they seem to be amazing artists. This map is highly accurate. I believe the guy drew it free hand, from memory. No need to use Google maps when you've got crazy good drawing skills.

There are a couple of sweet aspects about this course that make it a rather great 5k (seriously, I'm not saying this because of the paycheck thing). First, it does not cross any roads. There is no opportunity for traffic interference, assuming that the locals stay off the sidewalks and the trail (this may or may not be a good assumption). Second, the race finishes with a rather pleasant downhill. Yes, you have to run up this slope at the beginning. But, that's the best time. Your meat is still fresh. Third, the race doesn't start until 9:00. Triathlon's are notoriously anal about starting early. Maybe the rest of the tri world doesn't like sleeping in.  Fourth, I get to shower off in the dunking booth. Not only did I have to pay money for my students to beat me in a race, but I also get the added humiliation of sitting on a stick in the cold while these same kids drop me in a tank like a suspected witch in Salem. I might bring my wetsuit.

In case any of you remember my race goals for the season, I'd like to go under 20 minutes for a 5k. That's an average of 6:26 per mile. I have not ran those speeds since I, myself, was in high school. Nor have I done so in practice this year. Doesn't matter. I am hoping that the River Ramble 5k will be my goal achieving race. Getting a 19:59 or faster time will have a 2nd pleasant consequence... I won't have to sign up for another 5k later this year.

Wish me luck.

Race Preview- Ironman Lake Placid

I've eluded in the past that I was going to write more. Then one form of chaos happened on top of another. Suddenly I was scrambling for a new place to stay in Lake Placid. We actually found a decent one, at a decent price, which allows us to bring our doggies. The Wife probably wouldn't come without them. Those of you with kids might know what I'm getting at here.

Well, the new place doesn't really have network access or good phone strength. The house next door has access, which I have been given permission to use but I feel like a bit of a stalker. I have calculated the minimum distance I can sit between my place and theirs whilst garnering a reliable signal strength. Seems a bit creepy.

So, without further adieu, here's the nitty and the gritty on IMLP:

On the Swim
The 2.4 mile swim is in Mirror Lake, on the back side of downtown Lake Placid. The lake is not that big. The mass start is expecting 2900 people to be crammed into a space roughly as wide as 2 semi-trucks are long. If you have ever gone to a fish rookery and dropped some of the pellets into the water for young troutlings and remember what they looked like as they swam on top, rolled over each other, smacked each other around a bit... That's a mass swim start. It's crazy with a smidgen of WTF tossed in.

The racers here, myself including, are all abuzz about wetsuit legality. If the water temperature at race time is less than 78º, wetsuits are fully legal. If the temp is over 78º but under 84º, wetsuits are semi-legal (my term). This means that we can wear them but forfeit our right to win a prize or qualify for <gulp> Kona. If we get water +84º, leave your neoprene on the shore.

If the gun went off on Saturday morning, the status would be semi-legal. There are many, many people most uncomfortable with this. Swimming is a challenging discipline and lots depend on the extra buoyancy to turn in a respectable time (or to not drown in the cacophony). However, the overnight low in the greater Adirondack region is slated for the low 50ºs. Since Mirror Lake is not that large, it may be enough to cool it down to the magic mark of 77.999999999º F. Hopefully, they'll take that temp before 2900 people climb in and, umm, bring the temp back up.

I will, with a high level of probability, be wearing a wetsuit. My reasoning is 2 fold. 1. My training does not indicate that I will be winning a prize or qualifying for Kona this year. 2. If the overnight low is in the low 50ºs, it will not be significantly warmer come 6:00. I'll be wearing a neoprene jacket race morning.

On the Bike
There's something about Ironman racing that I have not mastered yet. I probably won't master it this year either, but I'm working towards that goal. The Ironman is not a swim race, a bike race, and then a run race. I have that attitude towards sprint and olympic distance events. I had that attitude in the past for M-Dot races as well. I am not a good 140.6 racer because of that attitude. Granted, I could probably get away with swimming hard. But biking hard? Forget about it.

The 112 bike ride is all about conservation and intelligence. I haven't conserved much in the past. And, wait, what was that second thing again? Well, it probably wasn't important. Therefore, I'm stuck with conservation. I'm capable of finishing the ride in about 5 hours and 40 minutes. That would be a great time if I didn't have another portion of the race still looming. I am planning on monitoring the heart closely, taking in ample fluids and carbs, and coming off the bike feeling only moderately tired. The idea is to turn a 5:40 into a 6 hour ride and feel confident when I pop off. Again, I have not mastered this yet.

The initial part of the ride out of LP takes you to a town called Keene. After a couple of fast descends, you climb for a couple of miles until you reach the summit of your daily elevation. This needs to be done carefully. Your legs are relatively fresh, but there is lots of riding left to be done. After the summit, you plummet for the next 8 miles. It is not unusual to hit speeds of 50+ mph on this stretch of relatively bad roads (see rant below). I plan on eating a drinking plenty before the dive knowing I have about 20 minutes of low heart rate in which to digest. Depending on the wind, I will do this entire drop tucked in aero.

The next 18 miles or so are rather flat with a couple of short rollers tossed in to keep people awake. In the past, this was a place where I raced. The road from Keene out to Jay is a smooth, rider friendly area. Again, I must learn to relax. If people want to pass me, go right ahead. This is my race, not theirs.

Remember those 8 miles of going down, well, you have to go back up. From Jay, you climb your way back up to Wilmington. There are some rather hefty slopes. Turn left at Wilmington and you have a 10 mile climb of varying gradients to get you back to the start.

Insert Rant Here- To add insult to injury, the roads on the biggest ascents and descents are some of the crappiest roads ever to be placed on a race course. They're so bad that the NY Department of Transportation makes all racers sign a separate waiver stating that we won't hold the NYDOT responsible for anything. I do all of my racing (for now) exclusively in New York State and this is the only race in which a separate race waiver is required. Dear NYDOT, please re-invest some of the millions of dollars that the Ironman brings to Lake Placid annually on some asphalt for the course. -I feel better now.

As one man named Tom put it several years ago, its not necessarily the hills themselves, but the placement of the hills. You get relatively no opportunity to recover from the hills before you start the run.

On the Run
The run for the IMLP course is pretty straight forward. Run out of town, turn left at the ski jumps, run 4 miles along a river, turn around and head back. Do that twice. What's the old idiom? Just because something is simple doesn't mean it's easy. That describes the run.

For one, it's a marathon. Twenty six point two miles is not considered easy by anyone except the most badass people on the planet. I am not one of those people. 

For two, there are pretty much no flat areas on the course. You are either going up or going down. The point is that it's tough to find a pace or a rhythm. It's an entire roller coaster's worth  of bobbing and it can wear on you after a while.

For three, there are 2 larger than average hills. One of them is big enough to have a name, Mill Hill. You go down on the way out and up on the way back. This translates that, when your legs are the weakest, your legs are the most tired, your spirit has already been broken, you still have to climb those %$&* hills. Mill Hill adds another layer of deception. From the bottom, it towers over you like a bully ready to steal your triathlon milk money. Except, you are strong and are ready to look that bully in the eye and say, "I'm keeping my quarter, thank you very much." You trudge up and crest the hill. The course turns you to the left. The hill laughs at you again. Your hopes and dreams continue to be stomped as the hill keeps going for another quarter mile. Mill Hill is most unkind.

After all the uphills precariously placed near the end, the race organizers have found a way to end the run on a downhill. The down starts at around mile 25. The last mile pulls you along and you enter a state of euphoria. Thousands of people are clapping and cheering. You can hear the music and the announcer off in the distance. Every step brings you closer as evidenced by the increased volume of the noise. You can run as fast as you want (mostly because your legs fell off below the knees coming up the Mill but you are too tired to notice).

The energy of the day is returned to you for the final 0.2 miles as you enter the stadium and take a half turn around the track. You see your image on the jumbo tron along with your name. There's a finisher's arc, mats, and a tape for you to cross. As you cross the line, a man on the mic shouts out, " ___________ (your name), You are and Ironman!" It's a spectacular finish.

So there you have it. The culmination of 9 months of training, 2 injuries, and some life that got in the way will come to head at 7:00 am on Sunday morning. With any luck, I'll be crying on my rented sofa about the pain, popping anti-inflamatories and shoveling pasta into my mouth at an heroic rate by 7:00 pm. In the words of the immortals Wayne and Garth, "Game On."

Race Preview- Mini-Musselman

Just to set the record straight, sorry I haven't posted more recently. My 2 teenage cousins drove 600 miles with my mother to hang out for a week. Being on summer vacation, I have a lot of additional free time on my hands, which I had planned on training and blogging. Daily, the kids would ask, "What are we doing today?" This question comes with some expectations such as: I actually plan on doing something or the thing that I plan on doing is of interest to the teenagers. In most cases, I'd be wrong on both assumptions.

The week has been changed from blogging and training to sitting and eating. So far, we have gone to a Fireman's Festival, amusement park, Baseball Hall of Fame, and a minor league baseball game. None of which seem to offer swimming, biking or running (with the exception of the amusement park, which had a water park portion, but that's not the same kind of swimming). All of them offered copious amounts of food. Since I am a pig, eating has been done in epic proportions. With the big race quickly approaching, this might be the best time to take it easy and the worst time to be gaining weight. Take the good with the bad I guess and their visit has been mostly good. Since they are finally taking a nap, I have a smidgen of free time.

The Race
Tomorrow, I will toe the line in the mini-Musselman Sprint Distance triathlon. It features a 750 swim, 16 mile ride, and a 5k run. The swim is a bit special. Most triathlon swims start on a beach and feature large, fluorescent buoys to guide your way. Not the MM. Here we line up in a river channel with, awesomely, the current at our back. There are not many buoys in the channel. If you go off course, you should notice it quickly as the river is not that large. Although I haven't tried it much, but I think that swimming in reeds and in the muck near the shore will not improve your swim time.

Upon exiting the channel, transition is just a short jaunt away. The bike course is a single loop with a couple of nice inclines on pristine upstate NY country roads. Portions of the course overlook beautiful Seneca Lake, one of the 11 Fingerlakes in western NY. If you get the opportunity, check out the website (link above). Race Director Jeff Henderson, who has a habit of putting on high quality events, did a great job with the interactive maps. Here are some excerpts from his site. This should be the minimum standard for posting information of courses. Maybe then, we'd all know the course without any issues.

Bike First Half

Bike Second Half

Following the lead of the rest of the triathlons in Western NY, the run is almost completely flat. We have lots of hills in the area, yet none of the races send you up an incline. The most challenging slope is a 4.2% 'climb' over a rather short distance. My guess is that particular gradient correlates with a section of the course that forces you off the street and onto the sidewalk. The uphill might be the curb.

I'm using this race as a speedwork/ tune-up race for IMLP. I don't think I'll be wetsuiting it for the swim. With only a 750, current aided splash, the wetsuit won't really gain me much. The bike and the run are going to be in upper Zone 3 and 4. The Wife has informed me that we will be going shopping at the outlet mall upon completion. Should be fun for us both.

I'll write more on this race later. The kids are waking from their nap which means it's time to eat. I am trying to find the motivation to do a bike and a run workout today. Tough to do on a full belly. If I miss this feeding, there will be another one in a couple of hours. Wish me luck (with both the race and the food).

Race Preview- Keuka Lake Triathlon

There's only a few times in my life I can remember this happening. Most of them are repressed. I am at a loss for words. I'm kind of giddy with anticipation. Triathlon season in the New England has finally arrived.

It feels kind of weird to say that. First, I am not used to saying I live in the 'New England' area. I am a mid-Westerner at heart, having been born and raised roughly 45 miles outside of Chicago for most of my life. I'm not even sure what the main difference is. Most everything here is the same there, right down to the accent. Still feels weird to say it though.

Second, it's been a long, cold, crappy winter. With more than our fair share of below average temperatures, more than out fair share of precipitation, more than our fair share of the Banter whining about life bike workouts in the basement as opposed to on the roads. Triathlon off-season here is roughly 8 months long. It hardly seems fair to endure 4 months of triathlon freedom. I may need to change my 2-hour commute rule.

My History with KLT
After the long, hard wait, triathlon season kicks off with the Keuka Lake Triathlon. This race will mark the 4th time I've competed at KLT. I did this race a few years back as a sprint distance. After my second bout with the event, I dropped it from my schedule. I know it's highly unpopular to post negative comments about an event, but I'm really into sincerity. So, in all honesty, I hated this race. The swim course was frustrating. The water was cold back then (58º) and I had to rent a wetsuit. (I was a rookie and had not discovered the wet-suit advantage.) The bike portion was amongst the worst, if not at the top of the list, of bad surfaces. The run course was on the Keuka College campus and was confusing. I had nothing but negative emotions and I promised myself I wouldn't do that race again.

Soon thereafter, I caught the Ironman bug. Pre-IM, I was really into sprint distance triathlons. They are still my favorite. But, since the M-dot events are long and drawn out, I started to put longer distance races on my calendar. In 2010, I made the move to put Keuka Lake back on my calendar. Am I an oath breaker? Not in my mind because I upped the distance. I would no longer do the sprint distance but now will hit the olympic/ intermediate distance race.

The 2010 KLT was my first oly distance triathlon and it sucked. I wasn't about my fitness, though. Whatever issues I had in the past with the swim course were solved and the improved swim was welcomed. The course was a modified triangle. Swim out to the first buoy, hang a left, swim short to the next buoy and another left, then swim a long, long way until the final left that sends you home. Given that Keuka Lake is a finger lake, carved out by glacier movement, there is quite the steep slope leading from the water's edge to transition. You have to cope with a nice stair climb to get to your bike.

I find that transition at the KLT is smaller than necessary. The space available for racking your bikes is close to infinite. Keuka College is a beauty with lots of green. But the bikes are sardined. Still, it wasn't that challenging to find your bike should you have a clue as to what you are doing.

The bike course still sucked. Route 54a, in my opinion, was the worst kept road in the state of NY. A long stretch of the course was on this every-15-feet hit a bump, hole, expansion crack, groove, etc. There was absolutely no way to stay comfortable on your bike. Luckily for most of the competitors, there were not many race officials out on the course. If so, there would have been more people serving time penalties for dropped gear/ littering on the course. Water bottles could not stay in their cages. Mesh splash guards from aero bottles (including mine) dotted the course like a herd of small, yellow road kill.

Once I turned off of this disaster-pit of a route, the road was freshly paved. It was like pure heaven... Until my flat tire. A nice little piece of glass wedged itself into my rear wheel with about 4 miles left in the ride. I dutifully changed the tire. After another mile, I got back into my groove. Psst. Flat tire #2, this time due to a sharp rock which embedded itself into, again, my rear tire. Luckily I pack enough fix-it gear to handle 2 flats. This is mostly for training purposes but it came in handy during the race.

One nice aspect of a small transition area is fast transition times. It doesn't take too long to traverse a dinky plot of land. If you rack your stuff correctly, transitions of under 30 seconds are highly possible.

Whatever those people were smoking a few years back when they mapped out the run course seemed to metabolize out of their systems. The 2010 run course was along the lakeside road. If you looked to the east, the beauty of the lake serenaded your eyes with its nature music. And, because of of it's proximity to the lake, it was flat. Pancake like. If you ran the sprint, go out for a mile and a half, turn around, and come back. For the oly, go 3 miles and come back. You can't get lost.

My Future with the KLT
The current swim course for the 2011 will feature the new and improved course that I enjoyed a year ago. It's just shy of a mile, or about 1400 yards if you wanted to swim along at home. This year's water temp is still well below the USAT wetsuit cutoff temp, sitting on 62º as of June 2nd. I'm still a bit out of shape for swimming but I've done longer distances on less training. To compensate for my lack of yardage, I will be testing out my new Xterra Vector Pro long-sleeved wetsuit. This is, hopefully, an upgrade from my previous Nineteen sleeveless suit. But, that's the purpose of these races in my schedule. I need to test out the gear and learn my lessons before the big day. Since this will be my first open water swim of the season, it's as good a time as any to learn.

I was fretting the bike until I got wind that the state finally decided to dump some asphalt down on Rt 54a. There's even a rumor that they sent in someone with a roller to make it smooth. No more will the course feel like a featured event at 6 Flags. I still think that my biking speed is down from a year ago. But, if I can avoid any unnecessary tire changes, I should do good. The bike course features some rolling hills early with a beast of a climb about halfway through. The climbing is over 1000 feet total. The positive is the decline on your way back setting up your legs for a nice run.

My running is faster in 2011 than in last year. I ran an average of 7:15 off the bike. Granted, I had the pleasure of a couple of large biking breaks taking some of the strain off my legs. The run course, as advertised is quite flat, featuring roughly 75 feet of ascent. It feels like less. I'm hoping to hit 7:00 per mile or better. 

The 2011 triathlon season is here. With new roads and good weather in the forecast, I couldn't be happier. It's the itch that I finally get to scratch. With a totally revamped course, I will probably keep this race on my schedule for years to come. I may even rescind my "won't do the sprint" vow. Bring on the tri!

Race Preview- River Ramble

There are a lot of people in my life of whom I draw inspiration. They support me. I support them. I am happy. None of which is as good of a support as The Wife. How she puts up with me and all the crap I can dish out if far beyond my intellectual capacity. In truth, I don't dwell on the thought. There are some questions better left un-answered (plus, I'm not sure even she knows the answer). I choose not to ask.

Anyway, the Wife suggested that we do a 5k run together this Saturday. As you'll notice, this race is not on my original schedule. The Wife asks- the Banter complies. So she signed us up for the River Ramble 5k. This race is providing me with more than normal amounts of stress. Well, any stress pre-race is not normal. I have not gotten pre-race jitters since high school.

Stressors
Why should this race get my panties in an knot? Several reasons, really. First, the race is a fundraiser. This should come as no surprise. I'm pretty sure that all 5k's nowadays are fundraisers. So raising money for a good cause is not much of an issue. A good cause? The beneficiary is the local school for the deaf. The only school for the deaf in town. The Rochester School for the Deaf. This is my school. The money raised helps me keep my job. I paid for my own job. The Wife also works at the school. She paid for her own job. We are like perpetual money machines. The money that paid for my race came from the job. But the money from the job paid for the race. But, since I know the science behind the impossibility of perpetuation, the money's destined to run out before the job. Or is that the job will run out before the money? Can't you see why this is stressful?

The second cause of stress relates to The Wife's participation. As a guy, I am blessed with the ego-gene. And, part of the ego-gene is the competition addendum. Simply put, I must try to win. It doesn't really matter if I CAN win. I have to try anyway. The Wife's presence emboldens the gene, making it all that much more important to win. I must look good in front of the Wife. How else would she respect me as a man? It's certainly not for my blogging skills. I will not win this race. Further, making matters worse, the Wife would not be impressed if I did win. I don't get her sometimes.

Third, there are likely to be several people with whom I work and respect participating in the race. Some of these people include my students. Understand that, when I run, I sweat. Speed and sweat rate are not necessarily related. I know the process well. Start running and I'm feeling fine. At roughly the 2 minute mark, beads start to form on my brow. At the 4 minute mark, the sweating rash spreads to my chest and (ew) underarms. At the 15 minute mark, I've got a full body waterfall. Over the course of a 5k, I'll be nice and sloppy. One of the main ingredients, I'm sorry to report, is urea. Out comes cellular waste in all of its stinky glory. I have to find a way to run, sweat, stink, and still maintain the respect of my colleagues and students. I'm not sure this is possible.

Stress Relievers
The Wife, I am confident, is significantly smarter than I. If you ignore the fact that she married me, she's got a great head on her shoulders. Her response to my petty concerns? "Let's run together." Stress--> Gone.

Since she is the accountant/ money manager in the family, she's not concerned about the paradoxal cash flow conundrum. If she's not concerned, neither am I. Apparently, my job is not at all related to the well being of the event. Still, if you don't want to risk it, please consider a nice donation to our private- specialized education school. Should you wish to send some cash our way, you can get more information here.

Because we are running together, my pressure to win automatically subsides. Instead of crossing the line in first place, I get to cross the line with a hottie. Even the ego-gene recognizes the sacrifice of a victory over the prospect of being seen in public with a hot chick. Hot-chick attention trumps winning. Perfect.

The Wife under my arm at the finish... Okay, not literally, because I will still be sweaty and she's likely to be repulsed. But, since were married, she's (hopefully) used to my musk and therefore more willing to hold her tongue while repressing her gag reflex. And, since she's the sparkle in my eye and I find it tough to concentrate on the other people in the area, this renders socializing unnecessary. Still, socializing is bound to happen. I rationalize that the men will understand the situation (upon seeing the hot chick). The women will appreciate the gesture of giving up the competition for a nice run with the Wife. The students don't pay attention to me in class, why would they start on the weekend?

So, this weekend's fun run supports a good cause which has very little with me keeping my job. The race features a small incline stretched out over roughly a half mile. As an out-and-back, half road/ half trail run, the down happens on the out. There is a small decline heading into the chute, allowing for a fast, strong finish.

Should you not enjoy a run, there is a walk which leads you through the beautiful Maplewood Rose Garden. If that's not enough, there will be a garage sale, games for the kids, and live music. The Rochester School for the Deaf campus will be transformed to make this an event worth checking out. Plus, I'll be there. You recognize me as the doofus hanging out with a woman whose obviously out of his league. Just don't tell her that. Hope to see you there.

Race Preview- Corporate Challenge 3.5 Run

A casual glance to the information bar on the right side of your screen (you may have to scroll down a little) will show you the line-up for my season. Earlier this season, the events were run focused, because, well that was pretty much all that was offered. Now that its getting warmer (so some extent of the word), the multisport events are gradually taking over. Next up, assuming you can read (an easy assumption since this blog doesn't contain many pictures), would be the Keuka Lake Intermediate Distance Triathlon. Yet, further continuing my 'you can read' hypothesis, you'll remember that the title of this post says 'run' and notice that it does not indicate a triathlon. This is a surprise race preview post. What gives?

I'll tell you what gives. Pondering. She gives. She gives lots of great ideas mingled with some sketchy ones. Check out the pictures on my followers (and, by all means, add yours). Pondering is the cute-brunette chick, third from the left, holding some sort of male human (unconfirmed as of this writing). A few weeks ago, Pondering had this "great" idea. She floated an email to a select few of her colleagues stating that we should run the Corporate Challenge 3.5 running race. There are a few runners in my school, most of them students. And, does a po-dunk school like ours qualify as a 'corporation?' After some research by someone not me, sure enough, we qualified.

There is a good possibility that the 'challenge' portion of the event has nothing to do with exercise. My guess, which was confirmed in our case, was that the real challenge was two-fold: 1. Finding at least 4 gullible morons to do the event. 2. Finding someone to be the team captain. We almost failed at both. I qualified at item 1, but was wholly too busy for option 2.

Based on the original response to Pondering from those on the list, we had a verbal commitment to satisfy challenge 1. After much cajoling, the PE teacher of the group took the reins and created a team. I, personally, procrastinated in paying the fee for the race, in hopes that they (the others qualifying for challenge 1) would forget about it. Sadly, Captain PE was persistent and I signed up on the day before the deadline. I was teammate number 2 (behind Captain PE). Two morons were paid up and might have lived up to the word should the others not anted up. We needed 4 for a team. Captain PE is smart and he expanded the list of potential runners to include the entire working staff. Even closer to the deadline, there was a fury of activity and our team expanded to 6, most of whom were on the original email.

Cast of Characters
Captain PE- As a former wrestler, he's turned runner. He has a 13.1 and a few turkey trots on his running CV. He's an avid reader of Tri-Banter but has not joined the site nor commented on the web-based forum. He has sent in comments directly to me via email, which I've always appreciated. His emails rarely include his training plan so I have no idea what kind of shape he's in. Since he's a PE guy, I can calculate that he walks around a lot more than me, which may aid him in his quest for corporate gold. That and he owns many more swishy pants than I.

Pondering- She is possibly the busiest woman I know coupled with the highest aspirations. Balancing between 2 children, husband, work and graduate school, she still finds time to host 3 blogs (here, here, and here) while keeping in shape. She takes advantage of my pro bono coaching services as she tries to sort out her running dreams in conjunction with all of the rest of her life obstacles. Pondering will once in a while comment on the blog.

Little Red Haired Girl- If Charles Shultz had ever actually drawn the affection of Charlie Brown's desires, he could have use LRHG as a template. She had formerly taken advantage of my coaching services, which enabled her to complete her first 13.1 a year ago (not that she actually followed my advice or plan). Since she ticked that item off her list, she hasn't done much structured running. Her most intense workouts involve chasing her children, whom are adorable (they've got their mommy's genes). She is an avid member of her local fitness club's Boot Camp.

The Real Runner- The guy looks every part of the runner. Further, he wants to be a triathlete, but allows things like his lack of real swimming skill to get in the way of awesomeness in that sport. It doesn't bring him down and he's always curious about my training in hopes that he'll resume his. He's well over 6 feet tall and roughly 160 pounds (granted, I've never asked him to weigh in). The RR, when he's in shape, puts me to shame. He's currently coming off an injury which has limited his personal training schedule. Even in his out-of-shape form, I am still concerned that he'll smoke me on the run. 

The Soccer Mom- You know those hyper-competitive women that play soccer on the weekends. That's her, umm, without the soccer. I don't know if she's even interested in soccer but she looks the part. When I coached her, she wanted a Jillian in-your-face attitude that she thrived on. She's not in that great of shape compared to a year ago. In her defense, she's been working a lot harder on the 'mom' portion, having recently given birth. This race will be the come back to running race post pregnancy in a way that will put Kara Goucher and Paula Radcliff to shame. Soccer Mom has one 13.1 and several 5ks under her belt.

The Banter- This guy is a multisport fanatic and a horrible runner. It is unsure why anyone would want this snail of a clod on their running team. With a few Ironman races and many triathlons, he has forgotten how to run fast at short distances, or long distance. Okay, he's forgotten how to run fast. The Banter is coming off a long weekend of training, his legs are ready to fall off, and will probably go for a bike ride before the race. At most, this is a C-priority with the sole intention of having a good time.

The Race
Now, the CC run is a national event, possibly coming to a city near you. It's coming to mine on a Tuesday night. More races should be held during the week with a race time of 7:00 pm. Screw this Sunday morning before 8:00 business. This is the way and time to have a race!

The event raises money locally this year for the Child Care Council. The course is USATF Certified 3.5 miles located solely on the Rochester Institute of Technology campus. According the the race site, the course is "subject to change." I'm not sure how that fact impacts certification.

Gleaned off the picture and description of the event, it seems that the run will be held mostly on roads and feature, based on rough estimates, somewhere between zero and 8 feet of climbing. A year ago, there were just over 9,000 runners representing over 400 companies. There are 3 main competition categories: Men only, Women only, and Mixed. We are in Mixed Competition.

As I look over the results from last year, I see that the woman who beat me in Flower City Duathlon and Flower City Half Marathon finished 3rd amongst the ladies. I thought she was unbeatable, by me and in her gender, evidence that there are bound to be some fast runners in this race, and bringing out the area's finest. There were many men finishing under 19 minutes. I cannot do that for 3.1, let alone 3.5 I'm not sure I'm worthy.

I know that I have no chance on winning this race, or being competitive. My only hope is that I can record a decent time. Upon registering for the event, the race director asked us to submit a possible finish time, rounded to the whole minute. I chose 24 minutes, which is just faster than 7 minutes per mile. Do I think this is possible? Yes, but borderline. I have not held that pace for an extended period of time for many years but I plan on going for it. I'll let you know how I and the rest of the cast did. Wish us luck.