Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Wacky Wednesday- On Becoming an Adult

Does any one remember the first time you realized you were an actual adult?

I'm not talking about paying full price at the movie theater or amusement park because they define adulthood as older than 4. Nor am I talking about stealing daddy's booze to have a grown up party. Going off to college doesn't count for much (you still have to steal beer only this time it's from somebody different). Only now there's a good chance someone has the pictures to prove your lack of adultness.

I remember the exact moment when I realized I was an adult. I was on the second real job of my life (currently, I am in #3) as a youth director for after school programs. I was having one of those deep philosophical conversations that you could only have with a couple of 12 year olds. We were thinking deep thoughts on paying full price at the movie theater about moral responsibility. I forget why we were on this topic, but I remember the next 2 lines as if they were spoken this morning.
Me: "I can't just pack up and go to Hawaii."
Kid: "Sure you can, you're an adult."

My world had changed at that exact moment. I was officially an adult with all of the honors and responsibilities entitled to that position (who still couldn't go to Hawaii). And it took a 12-year-old middle school student to point it out to me.

In case there are any others out there confused about your adulthood status, here's a list of adult behaviors. If you find yourself relating to many (or, in my case 19) of them, there's a good chance some 12-year-old looks at you like a grown-up too.

1. Sometimes I'll look at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind-of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day..
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.
17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
23. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

1 comment:

  1. This post is hilarious...true. I am, unfortunately, definitely an adult. Alas!