Periodically Speaking

This post was inspired by a few of my students. Whereas they will once in a while do something that is generally regarded as blog worthy (they are teenagers after all), I try to keep their appearances in the blog to a minimum. The only time they make Banter headlines is in truly exceptional circumstances of idiocy or in regards to sport. This post is about none of that.

Here's the synopsis: I started teaching a new chemistry class this semester. This information in and of itself is neither shocking or newsworthy since I have a degree in chemistry and am a teacher. In fact, given those qualifiers, it makes absolute sense. So, what's the point.

As you may have garnered, the more some things change the more they stay the same. At the beginning of the course I sat down and laid out a plan of attack for the new chemists. I flashed back to my HS chemistry days and recognized that it was an agonizingly horrible experience. I don't think I learned much except for the most useless of facts in a chemist's toolbox.

One of the things we had to do was memorize the elements, including their symbols, for the first 80 or so entries. Mendeleev, who was a triathlete, would have been proud. Now that I'm an adult and in an advisory role, I find that task absolutely, totally, and in all other ways ridiculous. There is not a chemistry lab lacking this list readily available for your viewing pleasure. Why bother memorizing something that is going to be in plain sight? Plus, there's a lot more going on in chemistry than just the elements. There's, you know, compounds, electrons, and other stuff (okay, I actually didn't plan that far ahead).

Like most good teachers, and some mediocre ones as well, I make it a habit of actually talking to my students. They believe it's wasting time. I believe it to be learning about my students so I can better serve them. (They may be more right than me... I'm still not complaining.) I told them about my chem experience and that I actually memorized the names and symbols. They, of course, took it upon themselves to challenge this edict and test me. I, of course, passed with flying colors. I can't remember the kids' names to save my life but I'll be damned if I get an element wrong. Curse you 10th grade chemistry teacher. You took up all of my good brain cells with that useless knowledge.

The kids, sadly, were quite impressed with this feat. I tried to explain to them that it was a useless skill and that I really only had one other, equally useless skill. They were having none of that. This resulted in my kids actually wanting to memorize the elements. Ugh. (The results are not in as of this posting.)

Hopefully, they aren't scarred for life. Hopefully, they know that there's more to life than chemistry (which is not completely true).

For example, there is candy.

Since these kids are HS students, and that they have recently, or soon will have, gotten their driver's license, they'll need a car.

Based on the evidence that they wanted to memorize useless facts, they clearly are geeks in the bunch. Here's one that appeals to their geekdome (of which I may be the overlord).

I admit that not all of them are geeks. Some might actually become stand-up, first class citizens. That'd be awesome. (Except for element #1- definitely misplaced)

And, just in case you're thinking that there's too many. There's not enough time to learn and pronounce all of that, take a gander at this gem. Try and pay attention to some of the images as they flash across the screen. Good stuff in there.

WW- Ode to OKC Tri-Geeks

I'm hanging out in central Oklahoma. Home of the Sooners. Home of the BIL. Home of not much else. In a effort to socialize me, the BIL set-up a play date with some of the members the OKC Tri-Club. I got to be the odd man out by being the only person in our small group ride NOT on a Cervelo P2. Unlike them, I choose to ride an American-made Giant.

We set out on a 30 mile rolling course. I spent a lot of time riding with IronMan Piers (so named 'cause he's a once and future IM finisher). Up and down we went on a route littered with short/ steep rolling hills and featuring over 1000 feet of climbing. The quads don't normally experience such resistance changes on the trainer back home. We also got knocked around quite a bit with a mighty batch of wind.

(Aside: Since I've been in the great OK state, I've had the following burns: wind burn, sun burn, trail burn (more on this later), and today, freezer burn. Second aside: Today was cold and snowy. It's as if the state wanted me to feel right at home, ya know, weather wise. End second aside. It sure is an interesting place to train. End aside.)

Before the ride, the clan had planned to go out for a run. The original goal was to go for an 8-10 mile transition run. When the ride was over, that plan was promptly modified to for a 6-8 mile easy run. I love hanging out with triathletes. Who was I to argue with shortening a run? I thought it was a swell idea. We set out at a comfortable pace and ended up getting in 6.25. It was time well spent.

During the run, we got to chatting. This is new for me. The only times I ever exercise with people are during races. Chatting is generally kept to a minimum since I am working on crushing the dreams and egos of my fellow competitors with marginal levels of success. Idle conversation doesn't seem necessary during those times. However, that day's workout was a social experience and conversation was good. At one point, Realestate Rob ('cause he's a real estate guru) made a joke to me and Bug Doc Katrina ('cause she's a genius PhD scientist in bugs). The joke was about Germany's solar dominance over the US. So, not only am I hanging out with triathletes, but also people who get the irony of American's popular media's penchant to get the facts wrong (FYI- Germany leads the industry in solar power usage and significantly trails the US in available solar energy. Hence, the reason Realestate Rob's joke was hysterical.)

Just in case there are any other geeky triathletes out there, I've got some memes that you'll appreciate:

A big thanks to the OKC peeps for inviting me into their inner circle for some fun in the Oklahoma sun. IM Piers and I had some great Darwin talks and the importance of science history education. Realestate Rob helped me understand better the seedy underground of the Oklahoma housing market. Bug Doc Katrina (shown on the right) volunteered her time to take me and the family on an incredible behind-the-scenes tour of her work at the museum. All y'all are the epitome of awesome Southern Hospitality at its finest. Good luck to you and your up-and-coming endeavors!

Driving Into Spring

I really would like to know how in the world people came to base season change on a small rodent. It must have taken years of careful observation coupled with, and I'm pretty sure about this, plenty of ethanol. To make the leap of faith, and to practice it yearly, that a groundhog seeing its shadow or not will dictate the arrival of spring is completely fascinating in a disgusting sort of way. (Plus, if you've ever watched the video, I'm pretty sure the whole thing is rigged, further negating any hold in reality.)

I know that there are those who enjoy the winter wonderland (the Wife being at the top of that list). They see pictures like this and think, "It's so beautiful." I look at this shot of a path near my backyard and all I can see is a world that has had its color removed and replaced with white and gray. It's like taking a talented artist, maybe the pbs guy named Bob Ross, and asked them to paint a couple of happy little trees. But, in a cruel joke, they gave Ross only white, black, and gray paint. I suppose I don't actually hate looking at the snow but my world dictates that I must interact with said substance.

It's right around this time of year, in case you haven't noticed, when I loathe living in the northeastern end of the country. Spring will NEVER arrive early. At this point, I'm pessimistic that it will arrive at all. But, like any semi-intelligent bloke, I took matters into my own hands. Since spring won't come to me, I'll go to spring.

So I packed up the Wife and dogs and headed south. For those of you who didn't know, there is a semi-inverse relationship between latitude and temperature. As a rule of thumb, not dogma, the lower the latitude the higher the temperature. I live at around 45º north latitude. The Banter-in-Law lives at around 35º latitude. As I said, the relationship is only semi-inverse. Back home, the temps were in the 20's. Upon arriving in central nowhere, AKA Oklahoma, the mercury had to the mid 40's.

The above shot is a pretty good representation of the entire state. As you can see, there is absolutely no snow on the ground. The white/ black/ gray has been completely replaced by the representative colors of brown and red. I haven't checked in to it, but I'm pretty sure those are the official state colors, mostly because there aren't any other colors available. (Aside: Rumor has it that just I missed a big snowstorm than pummeled the locals and delivered a good 3/4 of an inch. Shut the city down for 12 days and some people had to ration supplies because they were caught off guard by the heinous precipitation. The National Guard was leaving the state as we drove in. End aside.)

Further analysis of the picture will reveal the extremely low water levels in what passes for a 'lake' around here. Obviously the BIL's neighborhood planning committee was not composed of triathletes or they would have better removed the tree stumps from the 'lake' bed and made it available for swimming. No such luck. In the background, you can see that the state's representative colors are worked directly into the brick construction. Almost all of the homes celebrate the brown and red motif. In the foreground of the shot, you can clearly see that I am a horrible photographer who cannot remove his finger from the frame, thus negating any criticism I may have about the landscape.

You will also notice the lack of any deciduous trees or forests, further angering the spirit of Bob Ross. This fact continues for miles and miles through Texas down to the Gulf. Wind speeds and gusts have nothing but a couple of rogue cows to slow the circulating air.

I am not complaining about any of this. Upon arriving into Sooner country, I said my hello's and promptly went for a run. Remember, this is Lent season and the 20 hour drive was non-conducive to Lenting. The thermometer said 43º at 9:00 pm. I put on my shorts and did a 4 mile jaunt in relative comfort. I had stepped out of the car into a different state. And into a different season. I had arrived in spring.

The Challenge of Lent- 2013

Before I get on with the meat of the post, I'd like to take a moment and apologize to those of you who are expecting some sort of Wacky Wednesday report. I would only interrupt such semi-hilarity for special occasions such as natural disasters, birthdays, or Alzheimer's. Today being the kick off of Lent, and with me having a tradition of being Lental, I will have to postpone the Wacking for later on this evening when I'm alone another time.
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Happy Lent to you. For those of you who are new to the show, or for those who have just plain forgotten, or for those of you who simply don't care, I am a big fan of Lent. I have absolutely no idea why. Let's try and find out...

Lent 2011
This was my first year blogging and I came up with this great idea of giving up 'not working out'. I called this extravaganza the 40 Days of Working Out. I created some rules that qualified and quantified working out.

1. I must swim, bike, and/ or run daily. Other forms of exercise do not count.
2. For it to count, the total duration must be more than 30 minutes.
3. Intensity is not important.
4. I may not work out extra in one day to make up for another day.
5. I may excuse myself from exercise if there is a legitimate risk to my health, including injury.
6. I may excuse myself from exercise if there is a legitimate obligation to the Wife.

It wasn't until well into the season that I learned how to count and came to the conclusion that Lent was actually 46 days, not 40. I worked out for 45 of those days. Quote from the conclusion of that season, "I might have been better served by taking a day off and really attacking my workout versus stringing together a few of mandated sessions that my body wasn't interested in."

Lent 2012
It's amazing what a year will do to your brain cells. The further you are removed from the incident, the more appealing it becomes. Lost to the wind are the bad times. Gone is the hatred. Absent is the negative. The only thought that remains is the calling that lead you to the original conclusion. Therefore, I decided to try again. "I promised that I wouldn't do that again. As it turns out, I am a complete idiot."

I failed. But, the Lenten Challenge leave me alive, with only a couple of scars down the sides of my cheeks as reminders of the experience. It went so poorly that I didn't even report my progress, or lack there of. I completely glossed over the fact that I was a Lenten Loser. I blogged as if the Challenge didn't even exist. Sorry about that.

Lent 2013
Starts today. And, since I am obviously a short-sighted bloke with poor long-term memory skills and a lower-than-average cranial capacity, I am officially starting the 2013 46-Days-of-Working-Out.

Given my Lenten history of bitterness and failure, why in the world would I do this again?

Well, for the exact same reasons I annually sign up for the Ironman (which may not be too far off from now). For 1, it's hard. For 2, I hate failing. Even though I biff it repeatedly, that doesn't mean I appreciate the fact that it won. Every year I have a rotten IM. Every year I have a rotten Lent. But, I think I can beat them both. I have no evidence for this. The data actually refute that hypothesis. Doesn't matter to me. I'm quite stubborn on most aspects of life and I'm not going to let this one a pass.

With each subsequent failure, I grow stronger in my desire to prove to myself (and to you if you care to read about it) that I have what it takes to actually be a success. Just because I sucked in the past is no reason to predict that I will suck in the future. (Okay, that may be bad reasoning. But reasoning intelligently has also not been one of my strengths.)

Hear that Lent. I am not afraid of you. I may despise you, but I am willing to tackle you head on. Face first. You may win again this year. I won't be easy. I refuse to go down without a fight. If you have any hope of beating me this year, you had better bring it. Because I am ready. (Plus I also have a few extra pounds I need to lose. I'll add that to the list of incentives to beat the system.)

Goals of my Lenten Challenge 2013

• 46 Consecutive Days of Working Out
• Following the rules and procedures established in 2011
• Lose 8 pounds by Easter  (official weigh in this morning, on my off by 5-pounds scale, was 172.2)

Anyone else with me? Goals for you?