How to beat me in a race

Triathlon season is here. This Sunday marks the first official triathlon of the 2013 calendar year. My first tri this year is the same as last. To be honest, I'm starting this year off at a completely different place than the past few years.

I admit it, I'm a little fatter than most June's. There are 3 main reasons for this. First, I blame the colder-than-average spring. At lower temperatures, my desire to put in early morning workouts wanes. (This is code for: I'm a pansy.) Second, since we sold our old house, the Wife and I have been able to eat out more. Restaurants are pressured, mostly by idiots like me, to provide ample food portions. I seem to hold no restraint when it comes to the fork olympics. (This is code for: I'm a pig.) Third, I have not signed up for an Ironman distance race this year. This marks the first time in half a decade plus that I'm not obligated to that distance. Therefore, my training volume is down. (This is code for: I am lazy.)

Like everything in life, there are pros and cons. The pro to the above cons is that I am actually faster. I've traded some volume for intensity. My benchmarks on the run and the bike are off the Banter charts (This is code for: I have crappy charts.) I'm still uncertain about my swimming speed. (This is code for: I don't swim much.) In a nutshell, I've got more speed but less endurance. It'll be fun to see how this plays out.

On the off chance that there are some people reading this blog, and on the even further off chance that any of these people will be racing against me (This is code for: Bloody unlikely.), I'm going to do something that no triathlete has ever done in the history of the sport. I'm going to actually tell you how to beat me in a race, specifically triathlon.

Disclaimer

Always consult you doctor before trying any of the Banter's advice. Not just your regular doctor, but you should also see a psychiatrist and keep them on a retainer. Not a psychologist, since they cannot prescribe drugs. Same goes for a chiropractor.

People following the Banter's advice in the past have reported the following side effects: Dizziness, since most of what he spews doesn't make sense. Nausea, especially those within olfactory range. Vomiting, for those assaulted by both visual and olfactory stimuli at the same time. 

Common occurrences for following the Banter's advice have resulted in a decreased level of happiness, increased maniacal thoughts, erectile disfunction, and heart palpitations. Others have noted an inability to sleep, restlessness, paranoia, and fear of the awesomeness that is the Banter. They were later committed to institutions and should not weigh heavily of your decision to follow the Banter's advice. Athletes that were not committed logged feelings of uneasiness and a decreased mental ability to perform all but the most simple instructions. Luckily, the Banter does not have any complicated instructions to give.

You should not operate heavy machinery while following the Banter's advice. Or light machinery. In fact, anything using electricity poses a risk. Hammers, screwdrivers, and anything sharper than your elbow should be avoided while following the Banter's advice. 

Some assembly is required. Always follow the Banter's advice with adult supervision. Preferably adults who have not been exposed to the Banter's advice.

By continuing to read this post, you waive any and all rights to collect damages- mental, physical, emotional, or supernatural- that probably will incur by following his advice. Further, you forfeit any and all liability claims against the Banter, his affiliates, relatives, associates, acquaintances, pets, neighbors, former classmates, Facebook Friends (he's not actually on FB and has no friends), Twitter followers (he doesn't tweet much anymore) (maybe later he will), enemies, or past, present, and future readers of tri-banter.blogspot.com. (This totals about 22 people.)

Any rebroadcast, retransmission, or account of this post, without the express written consent of the Banter, is completely encouraged. Even implied consent- written, oral or otherwise- is unnecessary.

This offer is not valid in all states. Well, it's not valid in almost any state. Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure it hasn't gained state support from any member of the union nor Puerto Rico. Guam is on the fence. Further, it might not really be an 'offer'. Regardless, void where prohibited.

Individual results may vary. The claims made by the Banter have not been evaluated by the FDA, FCC, FTC, USADA, USDA, DEA, FBI, CIA, KGB, DAR, or the League of Extraordinary Gentleman. 

Thus far, no deaths have occurred from anyone following the Banter's advice. At least, none that I'm aware of, so I've got that going for me. Still, enter at your own risk.

Wow, you must actually be desperate to beat me in a race if you've made it this far in the post. I'm going to reward your perseverance by following through on my promise. I will now tell you how to beat me in a race...

The only way to beat me in a race is to swim, bike, and/ or run faster than me. Good luck to you.

(Ideally, you should get to the finish line before me. But, with wave starts, you never can tell.)

It's at this time, I'd also like to tell you the tri-banter.blogspot.com does not offer any refunds.

Ok, My Weather's Not That Bad

I do an awful lot of complaining about the weather, both in blog form and in conversation form. Most of my gripes are centered around the cold, rain, and wind. These, of which obviously, I'm not that fond.

Take our most recent Memorial Day weekend. The average high for our area is typically in the low 70s. For 2013, we had upper 50s to low 60s, wind and rain. Those conditions changed what would normally be an amazing training weekend into a complete pansy fest. At least I had the chance to overeat.

This up-and-coming weekend marks the first triathlon of the 2013 season. The Keuka Lake Triathlon is a pretty good race. I've done this race in the past, made some mistakes, and had some good times. But, with the atmosphere being below average for most of the spring, the water temps are sitting nicely near 56º. Brrr.

So, while I sit here and whine about my weather woes and how Mother Nature must hate my guts, I check out some other areas. For example, this was Lake Placid, NY on this past Sunday.

They got right around 30" of snow. I wonder how cold their water is. Here's what San Antonio, Tx looked like.

So, LP beat us in cold. Tx beat us in rain. At least we had some wind, right? I'd be remiss if I didn't pay homage to my OKC peeps. The BIL, Mrs. BIL, the niece and the nephew live right in the middle of the recent tornadoes. Whereas they are all safe and their house is still standing, the area is a complete and utter mess.

Here's the bad boy that beat them up...

And here's what being beat up looks like...

So, this post is really a reminder to me. The next time I start bellyaching about some below average temp, a little bit of water falling out of the sky, or some gusty winds, I'll have to keep my life in perspective. Even with our sudden drastic increase in temps causing near 90s this week, it's not so bad after all. I'll do my best to keep the whining at a minimum. (Not advertising full abstinence though. That would be asking too much.)

Open Water Simulation

The official start to the triathlon season is right around the corner. I particularly like this time of year. The temperatures are gradually warming up (and in the case of 2013, I'm stressing "gradually"). There is a certain buzz in the air, both literally and figuratively.

Literally- since due to the warming temps, insects feel the need to resurrect themselves from wherever they winter. Many of these aforementioned insects, seriously many, breed incessantly. A venture to the world away from my recliner yields dive bombs at my noggin like I'm King Kong to their helicopters/ prop planes (depending on which version you watch). I try and tell them that I'm only trying to coerce the hottie but they are not interested in negotiation. They only want blood, sweat, and or tears.

Figuratively- since with tri season almost here, it just feels like there's more energy in the air. I go out for a ride or a run, it's almost as if the air is alive willing me to faster or further. Either that, or I've been working out near power lines and can simply hear the flow of electrons though thickly gauged wires. That's still energy too so it counts.

Spring time is often a time of rebirth. There are a lot more people spending a lot more time on the roads and trails. It's kinda fun not to be the only idiot running on the road anymore. One thing that mid-Spring does not offer is a nice place to practice open water swims.

Water has some exceptionally nice properties. It's pleasant to look at, which is good since it makes up about 78% of the earth's surface area. It's rumored to be one of those essential chemicals for life, as evidenced by the fact that you and I are about 80% H2O. It's one of the most polar chemicals on the planet, and not just up north. It's an efficient solvent for many compounds. In certain situations, you can add it to large molecules and water magically transforms them into smaller ones. Plants split it while making sugar. Running it over your body reduces your stank. It's the main ingredient in both beer and wine! Some people even drink it plain, without any cooking, flavoring, or fermenting. Weirdos.

One problem with water is that it refuses to change temperature. The scientific term for this is specific heat. Water's is high. The layman's term for this is: Damn, the lake is still cold. Whereas, I live close to 1/5th of the world's fresh water supply, I don't have to worry about water conservation (thank you water cycle!). I'm not brave enough to venture in to the 50º murk. It's off to the pool for some laps.

Like I said, triathlon season is almost here. Granted, there are races which feature pool swims. They have you swim down one lane and back in the next. I'm pretty sure I would excel at this sort of thing because I do almost all of my swim practices in the pool and because I have a better than average flip turn. I hear great things about the pool swim triathlons. For some reason that I cannot explain, they just don't appeal to me. I like the open water environment. It feels more like a more pure of a race. You kids have fun in the pool.

Ideally, you and I would have a chance to practice open water swimming before the first race. It's a little different than pool swimming.

1. There's no black line on the bottom for you to follow. Hell, in most instances, you can't even see the bottom anyway. 
2. There are no energy cancelling lane lines. Therefore, you have to put up with waves. 
3. You don't get to stop every 25 yards and turn around and come back. There is no turning back in triathlon, you are stuck here forever.
4. Because of #1-3, you actually have to look where you are going. This is a skill commonly referred to as either 'sighting' or 'holy crap I'm off course.'

What most inexperienced athletes do not realize is that you can simulate open water swimming very effectively in the pool. I have done so many times and it's quite effective. The toughest part is figuring out exactly how to go about OW simulation. Being the good blogger that I am, I'm going to tell you.

Check your pool schedule
Let's assume, just for a moment, that you do not own a swimming device in your home. This means you don't have your own 25-50 yard/ meter pool in your back yard nor do you own one of those newfangled water fans that create current while you go nowhere (they're basically treadmills for swimming). This means that you rely on someone else to grow a pool and take care of it. This also means that they allow other people in the pool, not just you.

More than likely, they have a pamphlet, flyer, or internet page that lists all of the activities. Contrary to popular belief (meaning mine), some people don't actually use the pool for swimming. They do other activities, such as 'swimming', floating, water walking, hanging on the wall, learning how to swim, and as a meeting place for large business transactions. The pool schedule will list the appropriate times when the above activities are encouraged.

Choose your swim time wisely
On rare occasions, the pool will actually close off the entire pool for lap swimming. If you visit the pool at this time, you will be lucky enough to see 3-5 people using the liquid filled hole as it was intended. Most of the time, you will also see people trying to use the pool for 'swimming', floating, water walking, hanging on the wall, learning how to swim, and as a meeting place for large business transactions.

If your goal is to simulate open water swimming, you want to avoid the times when there are only a few people who are all swimming. This is a nice time but does not yield the necessary rewards. You are scanning the pool schedule for these activities or the like: Water Aerobics, Water Fitness Classes, or Kids Birthday Parties. You've hit pay dirt when you can find more than one at the same time.

Choose your lane wisely
Many of the pools that I visit still keep a couple of lanes available for morons who actually want to swim. Whereas they know that the swimmers are the silent minority, most pool directors are former swimmers themselves and will respect the lappers. They typically leave a lane or 3 for people like you and I who who really want to go down and back and down and back and down and back for 30 minutes to an hour without stopping.

You are now going to go against the concentration gradient and choose the lane that is closest to the 20 old ladies, one dude, and their noodles. Not only that, but you are going to swim on the side of the lane that is right next to them.

Be mindful of the risk
Assuming you have chosen your time and place appropriately, you should be forewarned about the inherent danger of your decisions.

• The water will be choppier than you can imagine- When you get a large mass of people bouncing up and down, walking in circles, and flapping their arms, they will create a large disturbance in the force.
• Breathing may be compromised- If you point your head towards the turbulence, there's a high probability that a gush of water will cross into your lane timed perfectly with your open, inhaling mouth. You can either learn how to breathe on the other side or how to cope with not breathing for a cycle. Both are good.
• You will be slower than expected- Due to the extra resistance in the water, you will not be able to achieve the same evaporating-inducing speeds. That's okay. Speed is not currently the goal. You only want to survive the experience.
• There may be contact- Please keep in mind that these people may not be in full control of their limbs. Any of the forward kicks, side lunges, crouch and punches, etc could easily cross the boundary. They also have weapons, in the form of foam noodles and foam barbell type thingies, and they're not afraid to use them. Accept this since triathlon open water swimming is a contact sport.
• You might go blind- There will be several instances when you are swimming that the situation will catch you perfectly. The water athletes are not typically known for their fashion sense nor their low body fat percentages. On several occurrences, be prepared for this, as you will catch a look at an area of elderly that you just didn't want to see. It's sort of like looking into the sun while sighting. Don't linger or you'll see spots/ possibly burn your retina.

So there you have it. Pool swimming is a great way to get in shape. Due to the structure, it does not mimic open water swimming. However, if you are mindful of your surroundings and plan your swim sessions accordingly, you'll be able to experience some of the challenges present in the open water. And, as always, try and have fun.

Ask the Banter- What's up?

During one of my recent, rare free moments, I checked my email. I had the usual garble. One from the male enhancement people. For some reason, the Canadian pharmacy wants me to buy drugs. Online gambling has accepted my application (which I don't remember filling out). The bank had a problem with my deposit and needs me to go to their site and re-enter my account information. Needless to say, it was not one of my more productive email sessions.

On a whim, I decided to check my junk mail folder to see if there was any nonsense mail that was errantly misplaced. I came across this gem.

Where did the Tri-Banter go?

-your fan(s)

Ah nuts, I knew I was forgetting something. I checked the log and, crap, this mysterious spammer was right, I haven't blogged in a while. What's up with that?

Okay, in my defense, I have been a little busy. In the past 2 weeks, I have experienced the following:

• I invented a new field of research.
• In doing so, I submitted my first scientific paper for peer review. Since the topic is a first-of-a-kind, ground breaking research in the field I invented, I am required to withhold most of the details.
• While learning some new physics concepts for the purpose of my research, I accidentally developed a math formula that outlined the steps that would turn carbon dioxide, methane, and E. coli bacteria into renewable fuel.
• As it turns out, this renewable fuel source was not compatible with current combustible engines. Therefore, I had to spend some time at the machine shop.
• Shortly thereafter, I started getting calls and complaints from Congressmen and the oil lobbyists trying to force me to give up on my fuel endeavors. I refused.
• Then, some henchmen showed up at my front door. Luckily, there are 2 other doors in which I could escape and the guys weren't that bright. I went into hiding.
• Whereas I did bring my laptop, my undisclosed location did not offer free wi-fi. I was stuck working offline.
• During that time, I penned a new novel. It's in the alien invasion genre, only this time its the humans are being wiped out by invaders with superior technology and fire power. The aliens get wiped out by some weird bacterium. The entire novel was inspired by my fuel research.
• Plus, I still had time to do some training. 
• During one of my bike rides, I rode by my house and noticed that the henchmen had gone. So were my physics notes and prototype blueprints.
• I went back to my hidey-hole, got my stuff, headed home, and checked my email.

Anyway, that's what happened and now you're up to date on the Banter's current events. Thank you all for your well wishes and concern for my well being. I've missed you too.

Garmin Calendar is from Venus, Banter from Mars

The Calm Before the Storm
It starts the way it always does. In our case, it's a simple disagreement. Nothing really. She mentioned that the colors are all wrong. I, personally, was quite pleased with the way things were. It worked for us in the past, I couldn't see why it would continue to work for us in the present and future.

It's never really just one thing, is it?

Soon, she started to think that life was going stale. It was too repetitive. Too predictable. I, on the other hand, enjoyed the predictability. I liked knowing what to expect. There was comfort in familiar.

There were subtle hints that our paths were diverging. She would send requests and updates. I would read them, decide they weren't for me, and ignore them. She remained happy and upbeat on the surface but apparently she was a volcano waiting to erupt.

Last month, she Mt. St. Helen'ed. Like the tragedy back in 1980, she flipped her lid. I suppose I should have seen the warning signs and felt the tremors. I remained oblivious until the change was fully implemented. She blew her top off, and not in the good way.

Here's how she looked before the change:

I liked this version. Colors made sense. Information was clear. Still, she felt she needed a change. She wanted to 'improve' herself. Here's what she came up with:

Needless to say, I was most displeased with this change of events. I wrote her a scathing letter to express my feelings towards the new her.

Couples Counseling
We argued and fought. I was clear we were going nowhere. Since we both had a long history together, we agreed to seek professional help. Dr. "What's His Name" (Aside: Honestly, I cannot remember names efficiently. As a teacher, this is a real problem. If anyone has any solutions, please help a blogger in need of assistance. End Aside.)

She had changed and I was ready to break up.

According to the good Doc, we both had some interesting ideas. I wanted the colors back. She wanted more menus. I hated the left hand side menu. She liked it but loved the right hand side menu. I was mostly indifferent to the right hand side menu.

It took 12 sessions at $450 per hour (I may need to re-think my career). In the end, we came to a compromise.

• Returned are the colors.
• Kept is the right side menu, which I've grown to appreciate
• Kept is the left side menu, now with color coding capabilities (by my insistence)
• Expanded is the viewable information 
• I may have to scroll to see the bottom of the month
• I am comfortable with this

I'm a big fan of this new and improved product. The take home message for those of you in relationship trouble. Always follow the 3 C's of Relationships...

Communication- Make sure your significant other knows what's going on inside of that pea-brained noggin of yours. And by 'yours', I mean mine. And by 'pea-brained' I'm being generous.

Compromise- Be willing to make concessions. Know what you can live with and what you can cope with. At least, know what you don't care about (no use fighting over that).

And, when all else fails,

Cash- Like most problems, through some money at it. If all else fails, at least you'll be broke.

In our case, it was in the form of paying some bloke enough money to help us realize what we already knew. Money well spent.

The Perils of Swimming Again

With the end of Winter Training season, racing season is just around the corner. No, not the crappy running racing season that never actually seems to stop. Nor the duathlon racing season which happens to fill the void between winter and racing. Whereas I recognize that those are real sports with outstanding athletes, they're just not good sports. I'm not really sure why those amazing athletes waste their skills on rudimentary endeavors. Triathlons are just a couple of weeks away!

In the Winter, I avoid the Y mostly because I'm too lazy to drive to the pool. I put off swimming until the last minute and even then I do it half-assed. Now that the first real sporting events are on the horizon, I have to decide between risking in some chlorine exposure or sucking in the water. Since I naturally suck, I don't need to add to the embarrassment. Therefore, I've been spending a lot more time at the YMCA lately.

(Sorry, still stuck on the Star Wars thing.)

One of the dangers of swimming, and one of my personal pet peeves, is that whatever song was playing on the radio will remain stuck in my head for the entire swim set. Even worse is that it's not the entire song, mostly the chorus. I've found that I typically cannot remember the rest of the lyrics and remember how many laps are in a 200 at the same time. (I have difficultly counting a 200 without additional distractions.) I doubt that I'm the only one.

The song doesn't even have to be good.

When you go to the Y, especially for the purpose of swimming, you really cannot avoid the locker room. Most pools, my Y included, force me to go through the Men's Locker Room just to gain access to the pool deck. I suppose that I could go through the Ladies or the Family Locker Rooms.

 Quick poll: Which is less creepy? Grown man in Ladies LR or in Family LR without a child?

 Now, I get to the Y before work. This is pre-8:00 am. None of the people fit the conventional definition of young, per se. There are 2 distinct attitudes of how to behave in the locker room: those who show their junk with reckless abandon and those who cover their junk at most but the shortest, necessary periods of times. If you separate these groups of people, there's a distinct age disparity.

Race Review and Results- Flower City Half 2013

I awoke in the wee hours of Sunday morning to go, well, wee. I had actually planned on getting up a little earlier than normal so that I could try and get in some calories. Having been an athlete in one form or another for most of my life, I am not accustomed to the nervous stomach issue. I've read about this phenomenon but hadn't started experiencing it for myself until a year or 2 ago. Now that I think more, the issue may have shown right around the time I started blogging. Maybe I'll apply for one of those stupid science grants that pay people to do ludicrous research studies to test that hypothesis.

As I sat there in the comfort of my lazy boy, drinking my latte, and looking at my breakfast trying to will it down my throat, I made a few observations.

1. My hip flexors are exceptionally sore from yesterday's duathlon.
2. I still don't want to eat
3. I'm very tired
4. I need to poop soon
5. I really should just go back to bed

Needless to say, I was not the epitome of motivation on race morning. I did eat something as I didn't want a repeat of last year's bonk. I did not go back to bed. I did poop. I got dressed for a 13.1 mile jaunt in downtown Rochester.

The Flower City Half Marathon was one of the first major events scheduled after the Boston tragedy. There were several messages sent out from the good people at Fleet Feet Sports and Yellow Jacket Racing, our hosts for the race. They promised that there would be increased security and protection. I had full faith that these amazing race organizers would pull off the event without a hitch. If there was indeed increased security measures, I didn't notice. Which probably is evidence that they do their job well.

In light of the Boston tragedy, they had some pre-race ceremonies. They held a moment of silence, in which I participated from the friendly confines of a bathroom stall. They had some motivational music. They sang "Sweet Caroline" just before the gun. (Aside: I apologize for my ignorance here. I like the song. I like Neil Diamond (feel free to mock). I don't get the connection between the music and the Boston thing. Any help would be duly appreciated. End Aside.) The gun goes off and thousands of people start running.

As always, I was in search of a PR. My current record for this distance is 1:38 something something. Since I wasn't sure how much "something something" actually meant in seconds, I decided to run for a 1:37.59. In doing many mental math calculations, I figured out that I would need to hold a 7:25. But, I also know that these longer, crowded races tend to extend the running distance due to weaving, juking, and all sorts of obstacles. In the past, this has equaled as much as an extra 0.2 mile, or almost 2 additional minutes of running. I readjusted my pace to 7:20. My first mile? 7:21! I'm gonna rock this race and my PR.

The beginning part of the race is deceptively easy. For one, everybody's got fresh legs (except for me, mine are tired from yesterday's awesome race). For 2, the path is mostly flat to downhill. For 3, I'm an idiot and not a runner.

The Story of Crossfit Chelsea
Shortly after mile 1, I picked up a running partner. I'm calling her Crossfit Chelsea because she's one of those hot crossfit chicks and her name is Chelsea. See how the naming system works around here.

At the beginning of the race CC had her eyes set on running with a strappingly handsome man that she had just met. But, since he was faster than predicted, she resigned herself to running with me. I assume this was a good thing since I'm pretty sure that she was hit on mid race by no less that 3 dudes (and possibly 1 other chick). I witnessed one of the said hittings first hand as some balding dude in his 40's ran up behind her and said something to the effect of, "Wow, you're good. I've been trying to catch you for some time now." Um, we hadn't yet made it to mile 2. He kept going, "So, what's your goal for the race?" he says to her. This conversation is happening just behind me to my left. I didn't hear the answer.

Shortly thereafter, she's running with me. I can't imagine why but she asks me my goal for the race. "13.1 miles," I say. She laughs and says that's probably the best goal. I have a new friend whom I happen to look at for the first time. Immediately the ego kicks in. My pace for mile 2? 7:01.

I knew that my legs wouldn't make the distance staying at that pace. Luckily, my watch beeped at the 2.25 mile marker pulling me out of my stupor. She glanced down at the noise on my wrist and I find myself again apologizing to a girl for it's incessant clatter. "How annoying for you," she says. "Oh, I set it to beep every quarter mile on purpose," I respond. This may have been her first clue that something was wrong with me. Still, she doesn't leave my side.

As we run on, I start to notice something else about this race. There's a clear, non-alcoholic liquid oozing freely from my body. Whereas most of America has been stuck in a freezer for the 2013 calendar year, someone unplugged the cooling coils. The forecasted high was to be near 70º and it was already past 55. Hot. By mile 5, I'm nearly drenched and wasn't feeling too great about that fact. Crossfit Chelsea looked comfortable in her pink sleeves with just a bead of moisture starting to form on her brow.

Still, we're holding Banter PR pace. Miles 3-5 were +/- 3 seconds of my 7:20. I did confide in CC about my pace plan, hence the reason for all of the beeping. She had grown accustomed to it and finally curious. At the 6 mile beep, she asked me how we were doing. It took me a second to calculate. First, we had been running the tangents extraordinarily well. The beep and the mile marker on the road were pretty close to each other. If that were to continue, we'd be in ahead of schedule. Second, we had been erroring on being a little faster than slower. By my estimates, we were about 2 minutes ahead of the 1:37.59 schedule. I told her so. But, I also warned her about the hills.

It may not look like much from the profile, but miles 7 and 8 are rough. We enter Highland Park, which the glaciers forgot to smoothen out. While there, we make a right hand turn into Mt. Hope Cemetery. The Cemetery is old school, having been established long before paving was invented. Instead of shiny new asphalt, they have uneven cobblestone bricks.

As we started up, my hip flexors reminded me of 2 things: 1. They were still pretty sore. 2. They were in charge. My pace slowed dramatically. CC's did not. As I snailed my way up the first and second climbs, she motored on. Her bright pink shirt was getting smaller and smaller as I was getting slower and slower.

New Race Strategy
Mile 7 clocked in at an 8:02. This wasn't so bad as I had some time in the bank. It was apparent to me that I was going to need some beverage. My sweat rate was increasing while my pace was decreasing. A common strategy in Ironman running is to walk the aid stations. I decided to try it out in a shorter, non-multisport event. Soon thereafter, I found some water being held out by some nice volunteers. I took a couple of cups and started walking.

I did my best to take in fluids and recover at the same time. I had resorted to a modified run-walk system where I would run for as far as my legs would let me and walk a short while. Most of the walking tended to be while pointed uphill.

The new strategy paid off! Not in time. My 8th mile had slowed to a 9:24. But, during one of those walk sessions, I happened to look down and found $20. So, all of the time I had put into the first half of the race had leaked itself out in the cemetery. But I was now able to afford a post-race meal.

With the dismissal of my PR, I resigned myself to enjoying the rest of the run. I took away the stress and focus of proper pacing and looked around. The course really is nice. Once you got out of the death trap, err, cemetery, you ran a short distance on the road and onto the University of Rochester campus. We merged onto the same path which made up part of yesterday's duathlon. This route meandered us next to the Genessee river, which was good in a few different ways. There was no traffic on the path, other than my fellow runners. There was ample nature. And, since we were heading in the same direction as the water, and since water is very picky about direction, we were once again running downhill.

The last couple of miles were pleasant but uneventful. The number of runners had thinned out. I was able to repass a few that took me in the hills. Still, several others went by me without a second glance. I crossed the finish line in a 1:46.49 or about 8 minutes shy of my PR.

I did happen to stalk check Crossfit Chelsea's finish time. She did not go under the 1:37.59 goal time either. Still, she was close and put about 7 minutes of time between us. I looked for her after the race but failed to find her.

The Walk of Shame
Say what you want about runners, but wow they know how to put on a party. The race started and ended at the Blue Cross Arena, which is as great of a race venue as you could get. Once inside the facility, you are greeted with live music and a nearly endless supply of food. Thanks to the volunteers who kept that going!

I grabbed some pizza and a bagel from the buffet. My stomach still wasn't interested in eating but I forced some calories down it anyway.

I took off my running shirt and ringed it out over a trash can. I donned a new, clean shirt that I had stashed behind a pole before the race. It was a calculated risk that paid off. If someone would have cleaned up the inside of the building, I would have been stuck in my stinky. Since everyone else is as lazy as me, I was able to walk around in a dry top.

As I left the feeding area, I headed out towards the parking garage that held my car, a 10 minute walk on rested legs. On the way, I met Boston Bill. Bill may or may not be his real name. He did do the Boston Marathon 2 weeks prior. I praised him for even attempting a 1/2 mary two weeks after a full.

Boston Bill was the first person I met that could give a first hand account of what had happened. There were so many things I wanted to ask but the awkwardness of the situation dictated that I be nice.

"So, how'd it go?" I ask

"Which?" he replied. "Today or Boston?"

"Well, today." I lied. "But I am curious about Boston, too." I covered.

Boston Bill goes on to tell me that he had a sub-par performance. He was hoping for a 1:48 and didn't get it. This immediately puts things in perspective for me since I had, for all practical purposes, a terrible race. My time was still faster than his.

He continues to tell me that he's not sure about Boston. He was on pace to achieve his goal but was stopped short of the finish line as the tragedy unfolded. Then, Boston Bill says something that takes my mind away.

"I'm waiting to find out how Boston is going to handle finishing times." I admit to having this question myself but have been too shy to consider out loud. Runners are a nutty bunch. When all is said and done, they still want the official data.

BB and I chat for a little while longer until it's clear that neither one of us are walking in the direction of our cars. We say our farewells and diverge to our respective parking garages. The Flower City Challenge weekend had finally come to a close.

Star Wars Revisited

This post is in honor of National Star Wars Day, which happens to be in a couple of days in case you're not a geek.

The post is inspired by one of the greatest pictures of a dude on a bike.

Now, as I understand it, this picture was posted to one of those Social Media sites. I'm not much into social media past this blog and an occasional twit comment. Thing is, on this particular site, you have the option of liking things. Not disliking. Nope. Couldn't have that. Only liking. I, for the life of the brain behind my Face, think that the website has something to do about a Book. Maybe there are some socially active people out there who understand that you should go to that website and find the Quintana Roo area, find the contest and like this Chewbacca. I agree, he really needs a new bike.

Of course, this got me to thinking on how else to link Star Wars to triathlon. There's this awesome swim suit for the ladies. Beep beep.

Here's how clones would practice swimming. Boots and all.

One day, I'll stop caring about my speed in a race and get one of these bikes, which are ironically called speedbikes. So, I'll stop focusing on bike speed to get a speedbike. Makes sense to me.

I tried to find some sort of amusing or symbolic picture of a running related Star Wars something or other. Nope. There's no evidence that anyone in the Star Wars universe actually ran. Why would they when they had the force, could travel at light speed and use weapons that would melt their hands off?

Further, there's no evidence that a Star Wars fan in this universe has actually run either. Sadly, most of us look a little bit like this.

And, just in case you have defied the odds and kept reading after the pic above, I've got a tiny reward for you. Recently, Harrison Ford (AKA Han Solo in case you really aren't into Star Wars, been under a rock or off planet Earth for the past 30+ years, and still have made it this far in the post) gave an interview about his new movie called 42. The fans couldn't resist asking him about... You'll see for yourself.