Understand, I have absolutely no desire to interact with said hotguard. She's half my age. Even if I were 20 years younger, I would probably behave exactly the same way I do now:
Don't get me wrong, I like this guy (even though I can't remember his real name). He was a good coach and a guy of solid character. He worked well with the kids and, unlike several of the other coaches for the club team, he had an idea of how to swim. We exchanged a few pleasantries. I spied the deck clock and made a mental note as to where the second hand was in relation to the 60. He didn't need to follow my gaze. He's a swimmer and knew exactly where I was looking. At the 50 second mark, like he was using to force and in tuned to the black hand, he shut up letting me get ready to start my set. Like I said, I like this guy and he knows his stuff.
My workout for the day was
Dammit. My workout was done. It was time for me to leave. And the hottie walks in. This was not the girl I had in mind an hour ago. She was, umm, better. You know the type. Blonde. Ponytail. Cute. Late teens or maybe early twenties (and the simple fact that I am obsessing over the age difference is proof that I'm an old fart who has not yet had his mid-life crisis). Yet there she is. The pic at the right is not her but it's pretty darn close. I look. My girl is wearing shorts with an inscription on the back. I have no idea what it says because, err, I'm not wearing my glasses on the pool deck. I look away. I look at the deck clock. I glance at the time, which just so happens to be located right behind the lifeguard stand (I also can't really see the numbers but I'm the only one who knows that). Back at her. Crap, I am being far too obvious. The clock clearly says one thing... It's time to leave.
As I walk out of the pool, I wave my hand at the lifeguard stand. I do this after every workout, regardless of who is working. I have never actually had the need of a lifeguard while swimming and I pray that I never will. This does not mean that I don't want them there. They all do good work for just over minimum wage. Imagine that, the people paid to save our lives earn just a little bit less than the average McDonald's employee. The lifeguards have earned and deserve my gratitude. The least I could do is thank them for keeping me alive. Not many other people at the Y do this, which is a huge shame.
As I wave and smile, I take one more look at the lifeguard stand. I smile as I realize the full weight of the awesomeness of what I have just seen. I was just kept safe under the watchful eye of the Sherminator! Life is good.