Wednesday, January 2, 2013

WW- How NOT To Get in Shape

Welcome to my 3rd year of blogging. I am super excited to continue this thrilling endeavor in which I create fascinating, high quality, first class entertainment! At least for me. My guess is that it's semi-amusing for you, which is still pretty good in my opinion.

We have reached the time of year when a vast majority of people have started on a new adventure of their own that will conclude roughly 2-3 weeks from yesterday. You know what I'm talking about- New Year's Resolutions.

If you hit the reputable sports blogs or the nationally credited experts, they are chalked full of ideas on how to get started, how to keep it up, and new/ improved fitness ideas that are guaranteed to keep you motivated as you guide yourself towards the best you ever- all in about 6 minutes a day. I couldn't possibly compete with that, could I?

According to statistics that I have refused to research, most people have set exercise goals. They want to lose weight, fit into their favorite jeans, or smoke the Banter in a race. Roughly 95% of all the fitness goals that I didn't look up require swimming, biking, running, or lifting weights. Again, most people fall of the workout wagon before they have actually arrived to the barn. I think I know why...

The biggest reason that people don't achieve their goals is that they are afraid that they won't fit in with the regulars. See, contrary to popular habits, there are those who stay in shape year-round. We have names/ titles for these dedicated individuals: Hard-Cores. Regulars. Meat-heads. Die Hards. Bloggers. A bunch of people that I didn't talk to cited that they weren't sure how to behave amongst the natives.

I happen to agree with them. I don't know how to behave either. However, I do find that I am relatively comfortable in exercise laden environments. That's because I know how NOT to behave. And, it's just your luck that I am going to share some of them with you.

Here's how not to behave as a runner:

Here's how not to behave at the pool:

Here's how not to behave in the weight room:

Oddly, there are no "not to's" for cycling. Anything goes in that sport. It's all good. For the other areas, all you have to do is not to be that guy. If you hold true to that, you'll fit in nicely with the goobers who have been willfully paying full price on their gym memberships, including the joiners' fee, for many years in a row, without regret. And, isn't that the guy you really want to become anyway? (Especially true for my lady readers out there).

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